Tuesday March 6, 2007 - From The Star Online

Tremors felt in M'sia after quake strikes Sumatra

KUALA LUMPUR: Tremors were felt in parts of peninsular Malaysia and Singapore after an earthquake struck southern Sumatra at 11.50am. 

There is no threat of a tsunami, the Meteorological Department said. 

The earthquake measured 5.8 on the Richter scale, it said. 

Meanwhile the AP reported from Jakarta:  

A powerful earthquake rattled western Indonesia Tuesday, damaging buildings and sending panicked residents running into the streets on Sumatra island, officials and witnesses said. 

It was felt as far away as Singapore, where some office buildings were evacuated, and in neighboring Malaysia. 

The U.S. Geological Survey said the tremor had a preliminary magnitude of 6.3 and struck 50 kilometers (around 30 miles) from Padang, a city on Sumatra's western coast.  

It had a depth of 33 kilometers (about 20 miles). 

There were no initial reports of injuries, said Sgt. Gunawaman, a police spokesman who like many Indonesians uses one name.  

The shaking shattered glass doors and shop windows, he said. 

"Everything in my house were fell down... a cabinet hit me,'' said Rahma Nurjana, a Padang resident. 

"My neighbor's house collapsed.'' 

The Pacific Tsunami Warning Center in Hawaii said the earthquake occurred on land, meaning no tsunami warnings would be issued. 

The tremor was felt in Singapore, 430 kilometers (265 miles) from the epicenter, forcing the evacuation of several older office buildings, TV station Channel NewsAsia reported. 

Residents in Malaysia's largest city, Kuala Lumpur, also reported tremors. 

Indonesia, the world's largest archipelago, is prone to seismic upheaval due to its location on the so-called Pacific "Ring of Fire,'' an arc of volcanos and fault lines encircling the Pacific Basin. 

In December 2004, a massive earthquake struck off Indonesia's Sumatra island and triggered a tsunami that killed more than 230,000 people, including 131,000 people in Indonesia's Aceh province alone.  

A tsunami off Java island last year killed nearly 5,000. 

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Students at my school evacuated from the buildings because of the tremors. All classes are cancelled

Thats bad, always feel sad after waking up in the morning and I have to be up 2/3 hours earlier than usual for crying session before going to school and always feel hungry. or maybe thats just some feeling that I have in my stomach. I am quite numb here. Shoulder/neck jam. MInd still blank or maybe crowded which make me cant think of anything. Just feel like nothing to say, no comments but sure I do have. I must have been quite exhausted for the last few days or week. A bit hectic for me since came back from Thailand. And yet I wanted to spend the best time with him. I know that I would want some 'not seeing each other for few days' after the trip but I think it is better not to. Didnt have much time to lose a day and he is broke and I fall asleep in the middle of something although it might be something else that caused it.

2 days before he left, my energy drained, still left some, still could go on. I helped him to pack especially in folding clothes. He is bad in doing that. I should have sleep earlier that day but he had not finished packing until 3 am. And the previous night I slept at 4am and had to wake up at 7am. The following day, he was still packing and finished his last minute work. I waited and waited and we left around sunset. Got tired and I pretty much had nothing to say. I cant talk when tiredness strikes. Or maybe since then, my mind has been blank. I was thinking to talk to him about us, some recap but eventually forgotten. The last night of sleeping, he still managed to say something which I didnt want to hear. Last night? And still complain about me? Dont you have something nice to say? I didnt say much about it because I was already numb and have heard too much of  that. It is all about the same thing. And thats only one problem is that you just cant accept me, who I am and thats it.

The last day, still tired. I felt nothing and didn't feel like talking. A bit tense, perhaps but still quite good. I know he is going home. He was anxious at the airport, a bit hesitating and a bit in hurry. He had a red t-shirt, a blue jeans and short hair, thats what I saw him last for real.

Surely, I do have something to comment or to say but not right now. everything seemed to be unrealistic. Well, he has been good, more better that I could see it and at some point I might fall easily of blaming myself for being shitty at times or most of the times. Thats self pity which I didnt open the door for it until now. It is time to heal again. Thanks for the sms saying that you have arrived there safely :)

The end!

A cloudy rainy day, a nice day. I managed to put away his stuffs in a box, ahh makes my room looks more better. I found out that there were more than 10 screws under the bed, had to pick them up one by one. Today, I have friends commented that my hair has grow, more longer than usual and thats what they usually not been seeing it and got comment that I look thin. THIN! sad case. I have been in program to gain weight for 4 weeks and I managed to gain few kilos and still 'thin' or 'very skinny'...waahhh, sad!

Apologize for being inconsistency in my typing or semantics error or confusion. 

Welcome daphne and family back to Malaysia! gonna meet her tomorrow, hopefully tomorrow. I like the idea that I have sent someone back to Finland and receiving another person from Finland.
2 hectic weeks of moving back and forth between mlk and kl. Have a nice weekend! 

* blog closing in 9 days time 

I started to feel sad after the next day. Everyone said that it is normal to feel sad, just go along with it. Some saying about it - it is ok to cry when feel sad. It is a self-expression. My dad volunteered to send me back here straight from the airport just because he knew that I am gonna feel sad and most probably cry but I didnt. He said - take good rest before start doing things again. Thanks! They are concern about you maybe only concern more if I would be so broken again. But I can say that I am still quite intact. Just need some time to recover. It is time to HEAL again.

I hate that you left more mess in here than before - stains, smell and stuffs. Please dont get things done on last minute anymore and have more self-disipline. Screws are everywhere around as well as clams. I just feel that I could not go to school at all this week. I need some time to place my many thoughts,  to regain my strength and to be one again.

I was looking at your "pikku ili" which you didnt finish translate all to me. There are some drawings in there. Reading back old logs, dated 2005. So young, innocent, blossom and sweet but nothing compares to the real life situation when everything went stray.

I have not been using pc so much and even chatting. Im losing in touch with that. It is raining lightly here. What does that mean? :D Anyway, I have decided that I am going to abandon this blog within 10 days time.

I havent been here for a long time since I last updated. Celebrated Chinese New Year last week with my family, relatives and him. A great week. But I was a bit disappointed that I couldnt wrap-up the last visiting - my godmother and family on the same week. As I wanted him to meet her. He was prepared and interested about it. I came back just because of that but didnt happen and so did on his last day.

School has reopened for a month and till these days, everything seemed to be blur and maybe still feel like holiday. I havent prepare anything for it and it might be the cause that I missed the first week of school.

And today, I have sent him back home. At the beginning when I told everyone that he is going to be here for 4.5 months, they think "wah, so long!!!" When the time is running out, they think "wah, so fast!!!" Sad? Well, cant deny it but I am quite fine here although my mind is total blank or clouded. Feel like crying but I cant cry. And yet some weeping. Im tired. Im exhausted. It is like all the struggling has come to an end. It feels so close that I could blame myself or regretting something for what I havent done but I tried to stay clear from that. He left so much mess in here that I have to clean them all up by myself and again MESS! I didnt know where to start or how to clean . I have been living in mess for a long time now that I am so used to it already and I can imagine how he lives there, total mess. Most likely no cleaning until Christmas, hahaha! I cant critize much about him and not allow to do that. But I would like to if that is all my opinions. Anyway, Im not going for condemination. Things changed. There's new things, new improvement, some involvement and etc.

...to be continued

Tuesday - 23 Jan 2007 - After recovered from my flu, I was exciting about going for the trip to Thailand and I knew that this might be the last great trip that I am going to have with him. We departed from Melaka at 9.30pm to the northern state of Perlis, a place called Kangar. I liked to see the place names from the signboard along the highway, something that I seldom seen them such as Arau, Jitra, Sg Nibong, Butterworth and etc We arrived there at 6am. I was tired and eventually thought that Padang Besar might be only 4KM from Kangar. Maybe we could have walk there but instead we took a taxi. It was a good choice because it was 30KM from Kangar actually, haha! Arrived at the very north of Malaysia, started to see something in Thai language - the signboard and the taxi driver who was a Thai, trying to get us for his business - 700 Baht from Padang Besar to Hatyai? I think that was too much and we didnt have any Baht currency at that time...muahahahaha!

We left Malaysia at 8am and arrived at Thai Immigration, looking at the clock...it was 7.15am. Just a stroll of few KMs from Msia border to there and we were one hour behind Malaysia. Slowly, we just couldnt read anything, all those weird characters didnt find them any familiarity to match or even to guess...haha! Still, this place was called Padang Besa without 'r', haha! A very small town and I couldnt see anyone who could help us and even speak english or even no sight of any white tourist other than him, wahahaha! We just sat at a bus stop and looked.

From this small town of very southern Thailand, I can see that most of the them ride motorbikes and have Izusu Truck. Most of the girls know how to ride motorbike and they have no helmet. Somehow I think this country has more females than males and when a western tourist or anyone comes to this country. First thinking - SEX, as they might look at the girls, thinking that most of them might be good in it or whatsoever. Dont worry if you girls have lover who start to feel more lovey-dovey to you for sudden. Thats because the effect of the girls around. They might get erection by that and they start to love you more because they might see that most girls are beautiful creature, so they might start to be appreaciated to their lover.

to be continued... 

I have been sick for a week. This is a tension sick. It started to be worsen when I came back from the hill top. I liked it there but I had enough of the full whole week. New Year, studied for final and different kind of pressure. I didnt like it anymore. I felt as if I have lost the sense or touch to myself. I wanted to feel myself. Terrible sick, head pain, back pain, leg numbed, high fever, flu and cough. Terrible, just stayed in bed for few days. Until last 2 days, I regained my strength to get myself heal again. At least I felt much better after 2 days trying. I did actually!

Speaking of my final exam, I really really did my best, studied my best. If anything happens, believe me, I really did all I can, all I can effort, all I capable. I really grasped the way of studying, the art of understanding, the art of focusing, things make it easy. Although my midterms, honestly I can tell you that they were all total sucks. But for final, I really really did all my best. At least I know how to answer more than 50%.

Year 2007 started with a :

- good start

- injury on my last fingernail

- cooked my very first curry chicken even though was busy reading for my last paper

- school holiday after a week of the new year. wheee!

- fall sick on the second week

- impressed with finnish companies for replying my letters

- good understanding and focus on studying for final exam. I liked it and I was amazed by myself.

- a bit disappointed that we couldnt go for 2007 countdown or see any fireworks because of too wasted due to mosquitoes attack which caused sleepless night and had to get up at 6am

364 Days have been thru with memories of sadness, happiness, joyful, depression, glorious and etc and the last day of the year, everyone is taking their time off, to relax and rejoy what they have done. A celebration of reflective the past and aiming new goals for new year. Of course everyone is hoping to have the year better than last year.

Happy New Year!

When I decided to change the way I feel and think, It has been good. It really works for me. As I dont feel much anxious on schoolwork as well. Although might fall again but I have tried my best and could get it out more faster than usual.

I guess I have been sleeping quite much, at least more early and more hours. It might have caused me some neck and shoulder jam. Or maybe when he is away, my neck and shoulder always get jam....hahaha. Well, might be true. hmmm?

One of my email written ..."2006 comes to an end. What have you been doing?" It caught me thinking. January was like yesterday. I was struggling at then. We are in December. By next year, it is going to be the new year and January starts again. There will be no any dramatic transition. The year, the time is a scale, a timeline for us to move on, be wiser, to see how much we have been progressing and so on.

Slow snail pace of internet access today due to the earthquakes in Taiwan that disrupted the communication cables around east asian countries.

I feel proud. This is a different feeling.

I have had deep sleep since Christmas Day. Napping yesterday brought me to a dream which I cant remember them well but something. I was exploring a new place, an unknown place or maybe repeating dream that I have been there before. But still it looked new to me. Maybe I was going to meet my relatives there. Along the way, there was a music band performing at the stage. It was a newly-built place which some part had not yet completed. I peeped thru the window-sill. Inside it was some big hall with nice architecture and cravings around the walls. Looked like a church but not, maybe a spiritual place.

I met 3 of my godmother's grandchildren and we went for a walk. I was walking with a girl. She was under my sight. And the other 2, big brother was walking with invisible mode and his younger brother who was still a toddler, walked nakedly. For real, they were not even real or matched with the real description of their real person features. I was a bit afraid with the big brother as he was on invisible mode that some car might ram into him without realizing it. Then, something happened and I started to run, getting out from that place. Passing by the music band again and towards the main entrance. A few guys were chasing me. Before passing thru the main entrance, I stopped and irimi nage those guys and when they were down, I continued to run and jump over a big river but eventually I didnt manage to get thru the other side and thats where I woke up.

At night, I didnt know what makes me wanted to read that 'Tantra' book. There are some nice pics. I feel calm reading it but not for long before I slept off. And I dreamt again. It felt like I was at the same place again. maybe not. I had a feeling that he was here or nearby. I thought he has come back. When I was a bit alert then I realized that I was dreaming but the feeling was strong and strange. Soon after that, I fell back to sleep. I was at some place, maybe India not sure. But I was with some Indian family. Their daughter is dying, something happened. Everyone was sad but eventually started to have some kind of funeral ceremony even though she was about dying but not yet. I saw coffin, flowers and etc. One doctor arrived and was checking on that girl. Ok, so a bit disgusting that the doctor performed operation in front of me and maybe a bit weird way. He cut her throat for some breathing or whatsoever. Most likely I felt as if I was there on the scene to watch it but I was invisible. They cant see me.

Thats all I can remember.

This year Christmas celebrated with my family, relative and my man.

On Christmas Eve Eve, I was so bored. I felt like going out for walking or just being out after dinner. I was even asking if they would be supper...haha. In the afternoon, we went for some car-cruising to Pantai Kundur and area. I was quite tired after that, thats because we went to sleep last night at 5am, after playing LFS again.

On Christmas Eve, we went for shopping. It was nice that me, him and my bro were hanging at Starbucks for Coffee while the women were doing some serious shopping. I was actually assigned to look for Christmas's stockings but nowhere could be found. So, we just had our sweet time for coffee. Wonderful! After coffee, we crossed over to Dataran Pahlawan since my bro has not been there before. Saw one santarina's suit for children and both of them said the size fits well for me....hahaha, what duh! So it was mainly about shopping even after lunch.

At night, we went to Portugese Settlement. What happened when we put my dad and aunt susan in the same car? Havoc! haha. She was driving so mad that we have another car following behind, Unlce John's car. They said "the car in front is crazy".....wahahaha!

Even my dad isnt driving, he still would prefer enjoy cruising around, driving slowly and enjoy the lightings at the town. However for my aunt, she just wanted to reach the destination immediately...no time for squeezing in the jam or looking at some lightings at some churches. What did the people said from the behind car? The front car has one mad driver, one tour guide and one tourist...so figure it out!

I have been to Portugese Settlement twice in my life, including this time it would be the third time. For real the last time I visited that place was like few years back. And this time, it was not my favour after some stretch of walk. I was getting tired and bored. Somehow I think it was kind of disrespectful for the families there. I guess they dont have any quiet Christmas family dinner for years. People looking at them from outside their gate with cameras. They are just humans like you and me and him and her. Whats so different about it? Would you prefer to have some family dinner with the gate shut tightly or the gate opens? 

The place was so heavenly packed with youngsters, coming in for some street open-air party. I couldnt even hear Christmas songs anywhere, or maybe a bit. Imagine if a big group of people crowd in the center and everyone is singing Christmas songs, then I can say this is something. Or maybe if there is a bunch of corals singers, then it would be great too. For  this year, it opened my tired mind  that this place shouldnt be open to public for Christmas Party. Well maybe can, maybe they could organize something more spiritual instead.

Lastly Christmas Day with beers and maggie mee at home......hahaha

I have never seen so much of rain in Melaka.

I have never seen so grey and cloudy for a long period of time in Melaka.

I have never seen it rains more than 24 hours non-stop in here.

There is no any sight of sun. Although once it was cloudy and rainy for a week but still could see the sun.

I have been down with sore throat, cough and flu.

I dont feel like going out at all since yesterday I got so much of wetness.

Caught a cold on Thursday night. By Friday noon, I felt as if I have some temperature. Pretty much true as the time went by. My bones were aching, easily got cold with the wind outside, head was heavy and I suffered some piles (haemorraid) err...didnt know the spelling well. With that, I have trouble sitting, walking and standing. What was more? At night, walked to Jusco with the piles at my asshole. I was almost giving up that I could whine and hate the whole trip of why I wanted to go Jusco. But eventually I liked the outing.

Back home, I was laying on my stomach. Relax? a bit but not really. That thing really hurts. Towards midnight, my temperature raised more and more. By 3am, I was up again. Feeling so much uncomfortable and my body was extremely hot.---- swallowed a pill of panadol and slept off.

He has been back for a week. I enjoyed being around with him again. Although we could be even more better, like he always said . Err Tblog emoticons definitely looks weird. Eventually in the morning I was typing this entry when I accidentally shut this page.

I enjoy doing sightseeing, walking-sightseeing, in the car and practically nice to have train-sightseeing. I am not a big fan of collecting antique trains and knowing the oldest route or train name but surely I enjoy riding the train. Sometimes the weather is a bit unbearable for sightseeing. But if you are a person who does not worry about getting tan, then it would be fine. Swimming at noon, somehow I think it is a bad idea but still I need to swim in any hour to see which timing is the best. I have never swim in the pool as early as 8am. But I am sure that would be so good, refreshing and inspiring. Oh, he mentioned the word Inspiring. I think I used that once when I talked to him about shopping. Shopping or window shopping is like walking in the forest....hehe. Bowl has got even better. That Super Bowl has more players or customers than the other place. Uncomfortable? Nope. But I had some technical failure at one point. Ball slipped out from my fingers and I was going forward. Yea, was sliding about 30 or 50 cm towards the lane....wahahahaha.

Stress? I think I must have over-emotioned about that. I still have time. I can start this week to be more hardworking. You know, could be even better....wahahaha. So, just dropped it, smile and enjoy the flow. No sleep? It is ok. At the end, there will be a reward...haha.

Everything could be even more better because there is no perfection. because you dont know when, what or how it looks like to be perfection. The matter is consistency. But someday you will fall too or a bit bad with it and you say.."I have been more better last week but could be even more better"