yea yea..all about the hot days...max temperature 35 C but it feels like 36 or 38 C and sweating like hell.

yesterday was nice...sat in the big lecture hall with fullblast air-condition and after 5 minutes, I could feel the cold by the time 30 minutes before the class end, I was shivering and I just couldnt read the line properly for my french short presentation in front the class. My teeth were shaking too but I managed it quite well. I got a full marks for that.

After it has been hot and hot days for weeks...now it seemed to be turning to be hazing due to some forest fires because of the hot weather.

Finally yesterday it rained heavily for the first time after the continuous a week rain after the tsunami disaster..that was the vivid that I had in mind. I dont think it rains much right after that.

Hazing..bad air quality, smokey air..cloudy with little sun and still feeling warm. Could get more worse or haze especially it gets dark.

That short open field is a shortcut for many students walking to campus and Im one the regular user. At night..only a few people will use because there aint any lights, totally pitch dark. I do use it sometimes at night.

It is a wide open space with few big trunk trees that have a great possibility for human hiding places within the tress. Somehow I was standing in the dark quite far from the tree and looked out to the streets for a while before I spotted there was a dark human figure acted suspiciously behind the tree. Quick thinking! I should just went straight and crossover the street but I didnt. I went back the trail to where I came from and walked the other way to the other side and still my eyes had on the suspicious figure out there in the dark field. I saw he did walked backwards to the place where there is a small shelter and he just stood there.

After I went to the minimart to get something and back...cant see his sight anymore. I was a bit afraid or overreacted because I thought he might see me when I was standing few metres away from him(near the tree) and put myself walking in the middle of a large group of people....haha

I began to worry...

I just checked my weight in my school clinic with my friend and shocked myself and her...current standing: 39KG...that machine must have something wrong :P

Well..I have lost a lot of water this week due to doing a lot of assignment on WC at least 3 or 4 times per day until I feel my legs are all weak and numb too. In same time I watch what im eating and eat after every 4 hours.

I bet this must be the really reason of food poisoning.

My stomach is ok today...no any pain feeling after having breakfast or lunch..but a bit of urge for WC. It doesnt come easily when Im in school...only at home

The medicines taste so bad.

I even lost the count of how many did I went to the wc to clear the junks. Yesterday night my stomach felt like washing machine after had the medicine and about somewhere midnight, urge to toilet.

Stomach feels pain after I eat something. but better than yesterday. Only that, I have to spend most of my time in the toilet...haha.

The first time I woke up was 5am and then slept back. The next thing I know, I woke up 10 minutes before 8am, thinking that I might be late or surely be late for my 8am class. Brushed my teeth, put on my clothes and just out from the house. I wasnt in rushing pace...just cool and calm but until there I was surprised to see there were only 3 students in the big lecture hall...damn, by then only I know there wasnt any class today. No one tell me about it. I was a bit curious when one of my housemate who take the subject as didnt wake up too or rushing like me. Feeling a bit fool as treated this as a morning walk, came back home straight.

I didnt step out from my house until 7pm. I have no classes and the weather was terribly hot. Checked from the weather forecast highest 35 celcius but feels like 36 celcius with humidity 34%.

I woke up at 11am and still battling with my stomach upset. I knew there must be something wrong as the abdominal pain on the upper left stomach keeps coming and going that I have to struggle the pain for a few seconds before it passes away. Feeling bloated, I knew it must be some air has circular inside the area. Each time the pain occurs..it gives me an urge for the toilet and yea..I went to clear the junks 3 times.

Finally I waited and waited for the sun to go down. I went to see the doctor and the doctor said might be some food poisoning, out of schedule consume food and she said something broken inside which causes it...haha I dont know what is it.

Prescription: buscopan, famotidine and gascoal.

the medicne especially for the pain(buscopan)...eww, tastes so bad, so bitter as if like an acid cutting my tongue..:D and this medicne gascoal to release the gas inside, chewing type...ewww,another eww medicine...tastes like some kind of chinese herb medicine or worst..tastes like the clinic smell...haha :D

I am invisible! I am invisible!

I saw my fader friends at the corner of the building and I was passing by them.. I havent seen them or contact them for at least 2 weeks. I was amazed that they didnt spot me when I was walking passed by right in front of them. Well, they did noticed after I walked to a different direction.

Met them again on the way back home...guessed they did noticed but pretended to be blind and all I could do was laughed.

In the morning I was waiting in front the FBL building, gonna have a discussion on our french presentation that is going to held this saturday. I thought I was late but no. I sat there and I saw her coming from CLC, I thought she spotted me but heck no..she just went into FBL Lobby.

Well, many times happen about that especially passing by my graduated ex-housemate and in one case she didnt even recognize when I was standing next to her in the lift.

During the chinese new year...I was standing behind the door when my mum came in and walked straight to the clothes hanger. I was still standing quietly behind the door. Well the door was already closed after she came in. I hadnt make a move at all. Then she turned, 180% from her eyes sight, she probably could see me standing there. But she did not and then she was shocked to see me standing there.

It was another hotday...I think Im down with a slight fever and my ache developing more until It was to get up from a chair after sitting and I walked like a snail...haha..anyway...Im still movable not like lying dead on my bed, crying about my pain.

which part of me aching after the fall yesterday?

- both legs..on the line between the pelvic and thighs

- left pelvic

- right back shoulder

Today, went to shoot some scenes for our copyright project. It was damn funny. There was a part where the artistes( im one of the role for an artiste) had to beg by the roadside because the privates "priracy" snatched the income of the artistes.

We had to dress up like beggars, crumpled our hair and put on some make up to look as we did not bath for days. The camera man(group member) was totally awed with my acting that I held the role well in comical way. This video supposingly to be in comical way.

There was another scene when the artistes and the producer had to walk down the stairs with some attitude. haha...I gave some comical pose and laughed like hell.

The weather was hot like any other days but we were totally had fun with the shooting.

I was not at home from 9am till 7pm and I had a very little sleep. I cant sleep well these few days.

I had programming lab test at 9am. I wasnt late and I could find the venue. :D. I skipped at least 5 questions from overall 10 at first...always do what you know first. Rechecked back for the second round and this time I managed to get all the answers except for one question. Anyhow, I felt satisfied with it.

After the test I followed my friend(ex-housemate) back to Melawis. I was going to my help my friend(ex-neighbour) on our project documentation. Today was hot,bright and sunny. To the person who really love sunshine, hot..you will sure love it here. It was nice especially the clouds up the sky. Clear blue sky with small patches of clouds all over the area.

I was there, trying to figure out what to chuck in for the documentation..well it took hours and I got all tired and sleepy at the end of it.

No one believe me when I said that I have french replacement class on saturday at 4pm. Well, it was true. I went straight to the school, feeling tired and still survived, I was a bit out on listening skill practice.

funny part...I fell after coming out from the class. First step on the stairs, I slipped and fell landed on my right bottom. Both hands were trying to hang me on or stop from slipping. Luckily no one was around. I got up immediately, laughed a bit and walked like a snail back home. My fingers hurt , my wrist, my leg and I bet tomorrow I will definitely know where the pain is catching up. overall, Im fine :D

Now back home, relax! I think my right hips suffered a bit pain...hehe

I dont know why we have such a great force of trying to make the project a success and I dont know how I came up with the idea of interview some local artistes or anyone in the local music industry regarding about music copyright. As I discussed more in depth with my group leader, it really got us excited and started to list down who we want to meet. Most of our group members were a bit stunned and surprised with the idea and they thought we were kidding and somehow it excites them too.

Firstly, we were thinking to meet the KRU brothers. The very popular local group since the 80's who has their own entertainment company. Luckily, one of group member knew someone who is working in 8TV and then suggestion like meeting with Paul Moss, Network Brand Officer and Ahmad Izham Omar, Chief Operating Officer were an easy task. We got to make an appointment with both of them instantly.

On the day itself for the interview session, me and my group leader went to KL by 7am bus. Met up with another 2 members in KL who had came down earlier a day.

Arrived at 8TV station about 10.30am. 8TV station is in the same building as TV3. We were ushered by Miss Fara to the lobby as she was the PR of the day for us. When we were sitting, nervous creeped up and in the same time some excitement. Later, Miss Fara came by and told us the interview session had to delay a bit because Paul Moss had a meeting about F1, 8TV is the official broadcast for this F1 seasons race.

I thought he had meeting in the office and we waited and waited, almost read all the magazines that was laying on the table. Suddenly, I was stunned because Paul Moss walked into the 8TV building from the front door, I sat facing the door. Me and Saiful were a bit stunned and we smiled at him. After he had gone in, me and Saiful were exchanged glances of feeling sudden and asked Mas and Juli if they see him walk by and they were like..'really?'. We teased about how unawared they were.

He was just exactly the same what we had seen him on TV on the ever popular reality TV 'Malaysian Idol' show as one of the judge. Honestly, we were a bit afraid of him because he seemed to be very truth and sharp when commenting in the show. We thought we would be getting some same feedback like in the show but hey we were here not for singing..:D

After for a while, he approached us in the lobby and introduced himself. We were invited to his room and brief him on some questions that we were going to ask. I had to do the intro part and somehow I was pretty numb in the entire session. Me and my group leader(interviewer) Mas kept exchanging glances few times, we ran out of questions because somehow his explanations were interrelated with the questions that we hadnt even ask yet. Overall, he gave some good explanation and he seemed to be friendly.

After the session I just realised that I didnt put on the tape recorder and we managed to get some pictures with him before we ended the day. Everyone was laughing at me for being stiff and blur during the session.

We didnt manage to interview with the COO because he was a bit busy.

As I returned back from the holiday...I felt I wasn’t me or I felt something was so wrong in me. I  cant even open my book or have the mood to study anything. Seriouly, Im not interested in school for some reasons and started to look for and read something on healing. Im feeling restless, disoriented, not easy, anxieties and etc….I know I have stuffs and matters to settle. Maybe that made me feel a bit out..I don’t think im in a stressful situation.

I couldn’t sleep yesterday..maybe because I drank tea and the hot weather. But still I tried to sleep. I began to sleep at 1 am. Gregorian music was the background music. Sleeping with some churches music might be a bit creepy but I had tried to listen to them during the day to adjust myself.

I woke an hour later, thinking that I had slept long. Rolling and tossing too much. I stayed up another hour, playing some online games before decided to give another shot at 3am. I woke up an hour later and didn’t have a clue to combat my problem..so began reading some spiritual stuff and gave another shot at 5am. I had 2 hours sleep before the class. This time, towards getting up…I felt the pinch of really deep sleep but I had to wake up and get ready for class.

I changed to some local radio station and suddenly I freaked out…my heart began racing faster, a bit confused as if I returned to reality…the normal life that I have and definitely I felt I was not right…that I wanted to return back before where I was right now. In short, I felt calm with the gregorian music...haha! pretty much like I was in a sacred place, up the hill all by myself and seeing some beautiful natures. The uneasy feeling made me feel like Im going to breakaway, anytime that Im going in a series of changing process as if a tadpole growing to be a frog.

I wasn’t feeling sleepy at all in class and after that a group discussion..normally I would start spinning in the middle of the class but today No. I was awake…not feeling so fresh but awake. As if my physical body is awake and the rest was resting inner it that no one can see.

And now Im back home, trying to catch some sleep before really turning into a zombie.

I had only 1 hour class and the lecturer turned out to be missing in action. So, I headed to the library and started to read something on copyrights before writing the introduction for the documentation.

It took approximately an hour to finish a piece and then I went out from the library to eject some money from the ATM. After that, I came back straight to the library and from a distance to my table I saw an unalienated piece of paper on my table. I thought someone had ransacked my stuff on the table while I was away.

As I got close for a look. It was drawing and it looked familiar to me because the drawing was me. Someone had watched me while I was sitting there and probably had some efficient time to sketch out something. Immediately, I made a move, collected all my stuff and chucked in the file and off from the library. No time to turn around to look who was it because that person probably was somewhere and had been noticing something. Instead, I kept myself calm and cool, pretending as if nothing had happened.

I brought the sketch back and examined every detail of the paper, back, front. Well, the paper was a good quality A4 paper. There were a few attempts at the back. The erasing was not so clean. At least 2 attempts and at the bottom of the page...included with a cell phone number.

Happened to bounce with my friend in front of the library and I waved at her. She came over and the first thing I thought she is going to greet Hello and ask 'how are you?' or something else but it wasnt any of them.

The first line that came out from her mouth was ...'I need a favour from you...' and then she walked off. I was stunned a bit and laughed by myself.

I had a week break and now back to school. The first day school reponed was a bit weird and it happened today. I just couldnt look at them and had this feeling of them looking at me one kind or weirdly.

During the break, I decided to have a silence detachment program, continuing the friend leaving thingy and unplugged from the matrix as an addition to it.

The focus was on family. I eventually returned to where I grew up or with the person that I grew up with and it was the Chinese New Year festival so it was the right time. By the third day, I felt more happier, calm and having some vision clarity.

I left without telling anyone. It was a sudden decision. I made myself to follow certain rules. Not allowed to update my blog, replying mail or anything that could show me still around the matrix. Not allowed to answer any phone calls from friends. Not allowed to reply sms greetings to friends as I got a few of Chinese New Year greetings.

As a result, I succeeded and I was having problem of reattach back to the messenger. Yesterday was the first time reopened back for my school friends in messenger and I just couldnt handle the continuously  one after another of pop-up incoming messages.

The returned of me yesterday realised me that I could not reach the calm mode, tranquility as where I was before. I have back some disorientation, confusion and probably anxieties, just figured out that I have a lot things to settle and always need to come up with some near-future planning. if this thing still going on which means I need to change place.

I was out with the new roll of film but then I came back with untouched it...the sunset wasnt so promising today...have been cloudy for few days and still I waited till it sank

Heard of the lamest break up reason in a relationship? I don’t like to see or hear that a relationship ends without a good reason or leaving it without any explanation that creates a 'why' and low self-esteem on either gender at the end of it.

Well, the lamest reason I heard so far for this year or maybe first encounter was because the guy doesn’t know how to dress…to be simplified 'fashion dressing is way out'. That makes me wonder clothing/dressing bothers so much in a relationship. Maybe there are other perspective to look at it but what I known here is this girl that I known have already set in her mind that want a boyfriend who is you know…all those fantasies requirements..tall, dark, handsome, rich and must possess a steel (car) or at least a piece of driving license and experiences of driving.

Sadly, she didn’t get any rich guy, no steel, only have a license, tall, dark, handsome..hmm that depends on her eyes but still she felt as if she is dating with a piece of jerk and his fashion sense bothers her so much.

Eventhough she didn’t get the rich one and still wanted to groom her boyfriend to have certain level of high classy as if a rich man, look cool and obviously to look perfectly well dressed or men model look-a-like and yet not enough for her. She felt ashamed or embarrassed for having her boyfriend around her if they are many other cute guys around.

Well, I certainly don’t like girls that don’t really appreciate or grateful their boyfriends and poor thing is the boyfriends must be so deep in love or something that they don’t know they are actually being slaved…bad treatment, being used, taking advantages and etc etc.

Surprisingly, she is a type that will go and confess to any guys if he possess a car eventhough no any feelings involve. This is materialistic. Im curious how she deals with her rejection because I knew she cant stand being rejected…oh well she cries a lot..some crying for attention

I could see me smiling after some disorientation for few days and a bit readjustment. Mum calls were a bit dominantly have the same issues to remind and I always ended up feeling a bit frustrated. Mind you…If I were got these kind of calls that keep nagging and yepping for something that I have already known, I could just hang up the phone.  No reason for smiling…just smile for the sense of happiness and self-accomplishment. My friends leaving thingy is quite successful…I guess. Pretty much like the quietness and working out from the whole context…searching or got it some new things to do, something weird If It is…'the sitting and looking thingy'.

Hopefully I could do some sunset capturing, new roll of film just loaded. It was a very light ambience setting of sunset…no raging color, just a mild setting.

It seemed that no chance to take pictures…raining here, some light rains and still rains…guess I would be going for a stroll under the rain later.

hmm..in front of my skull is paining...it must be the tutorial class that I attended just now.

lecturer is a person who talks a lot or too much.

Yea...he explained too long, too much and non-stop for an hour until I couldnt take it...my receiver hanged and the rest of the information discarded.

SssSssSss...went to the fair again with different friend. After 5 seconds of looking at it...shivered creep my spine. Then, looked at it again from different angle...bit longer I can stand to see. Some people were taking pictures with it. 5 bucks for each picture.

My friend called me to have some photoshoot with it...and I was like 'what?! Dont you know..?' well, whatever...

oh no...talking too much about..damn, having the image of it running in my mind at this moment!

Today's lunch totally sucks...it was tasteless, no lemon taste, no honey taste..nothing! But I finished it up...have been my doing of finish up the food even though it is sucks because I pick the food and appreciate the some kind of cooking skills that need to be improve...haha :D

Yep…Im a person who afraids of seeing, touching, looking of snakes. Somehow I did my best to look at it..at least a glimpse.

Well, I did it again!

There was a education + career fair going on in the school exam hall. There were booths of some companies, universities/colleges, their fav…the polices, fire department and the famous snakes exhibition.

I came there with my friends early in the morning and I wasn’t aware there was the snakes exhibition until I accidentally swung my head and stopped right there at the man who had a snake circling around him.

Well, I couldn’t runaway just like that when approaching the booth. It would be so obvious for my friends to notice. So, I just acted to be cool and calm. I did look a bit and a bit with a distance of 4/5 meters away until I could not take it. I probably would lost control of myself at there itself…'gone mad'. But I guess that some of my friend could notice that. So, I started to distract myself to other stuff, looking at some photos from the fire department and the police department.

I did not thrilled at all looking at all those pics but we should know something about that. Those pictures were taken first handed from some worst fire scenes. Well, I guess the snakes could be better looking than those pictures. But for real, I like how those pictures were captured. It showed some dramatic, message and somehow could feel the anguish feeling from it.

I must start to decorate my blog if im serious about it...but I still like to keep it with simple and original look....nothing personalize except for those blogs that I wrote...anyway...here is my new personal refurnished website :

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