Im feeling good :D..weather was hot. heat index 39C

was unfunctional before noon and oops I ditched the 8am class again. I was in a very static motion on my bed to make a decision and most probably could have make the wrong decision as I was in dream and also heard noises outside the house and all the process of recalling and etc etc. But it was ok..no guilty or anything...haha came out the guilty...Im listening to a song called guilty at the moment.

Just have some thoughts about Image, Personality...how you dress might show something about you...people dress up with theme and sometimes it turns out to be the other way round after having some assumption.

Im not sure...might be something. for example, a t-shirt that you wear might give an assumption to other people that he/she might be this kind of person or color and etc etc etc.

Do you think it is something very personal? Are you creating an image for yourself?

ahhh...im losing and forgetting some words :lol:

I got a dream, I got a dream..venue in my place. The ambience was dark, maybe only black and white atmosphere like the 60's TV. It was about...hmm, surprisingly about my the other housemate that I seldom talk to her. Yea..in the dream I saw we were talking. I wasnt sure if I help her something or vice versa. But the thing was there was an interaction between us and helping each other.

Few times in a roll, I dreamt that I talked to this person that I havent been talk to for quite some time.

and digital lab must be so haunting...2 days in a row or practically the same day, before the actual day that I have lab session, dreamt twice about my digital system's lecturer and some actions in the lab. Must have been afraid and going to be hardworking beforehand for the lab..a sign...due to the throw out from the lab at the last minute...haha

still coudnt reach the gate, well maybe already there but must have problem with the visa and bounced back...So I jerked a bit and alerted.

::Peace out::

A moment of silence

combination of piano, cello and moroccan drum

song without words

sleeping

thinking

walking under the piled of dragonflies flying above my head

A moment of frustration

it is working and not working and working, all criscrossed..what duh!

A moment of amusement

oh..I have some spider-look-alike legs sticking out from my pocket. They are 7432, 7404 and 7408. :D ....hide it hide it!

Oops...I happened to ditch the 8am class *angel*. I did woke up right after the alarm rang, sat up on the bed, ponder for few seconds, head weary and fall back to sleep....ahaha.

I guessed I had a repeated dream. It was dark. I was trying to get myself back to this place and I was lack of money. Transit in a place and waited for long. The people in the dream looked a bit weird and scary.

Thats all I can remember :D

recalled at 7.03pm :shock:

I know..it shouldnt be a fear..but I got a few seconds of trauma..wahahahaha

Before I entered the exam hall, from outside I saw him, I saw him..the one that I got troubled with last semester. He was an invigilator. Not long after the exam had started, he happened to stop by at my place, took my calculator for a check...oh damn! the first thing came into my mind was...ok, Is this some kind of joke? or what he is going to do now? what is he going to trap me? He didnt even check other people's calculator. After checking the calculator, he placed back and oh no...what is he want now? he took my exam paper and flipped....oh,what is he going to do? tear off the paper for no special reason..haha...he had time to flip and check who is my lecturer for this subject. no clue of why he wants to check who is my lecturer. That was it! He left me alone and I was a bit SHOCK but that didnt effect my performance for the paper. The Paper wasnt that difficult.

Im going to burn out tomorrow...wahahaha

I got some feeling of afraid to sleep but im terribly unfunctional.. :D

numb..numb at 12 noon.

Dreaming was blurred but I remembered it was something in my house and saw many binary digits. I woke up abruptly, by the alarm clock, heart pacing fast...feel weird. I was brushing my teeth and felt as if I was looking at myself from somewhere that I saw myself standing there, brushing my teeth. 

by Mary Schneider

http://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2005/7/25/lifef ocus/11544269&" title="http://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2005/7/25/lifef ocus/11544269&" target="_blank"http://www.thestar.com.my/lif...;sec=lifefocus

I was the Corporate Affairs for this unknown company...ahaha

The mock meeting wasnt that tensed. It was eventually good and smoothly flowing with a bit joke. That fella...we just couldnt understand his accent although we paid an extra attention at him. Most probably everyone wasnt really understand what he was talking about.

Anyway...it was all over now...done and deal with the mock meeting.

Yes...done with this week. It's the weekend...I love weekends..Time to rest :)

It was a bright sunny day and bright fullmoon. A nice day. However, this chinese guy was having difficulty in remembering people's names. He copied all the names down on a piece of paper for just in case event. Earlier, he was talking to a Sri Lankan guy who was sitting next to him regarding about some assignment and later he called out a person's name which happened to be the guy who was actually sitting next to him...Everyone was laughing at him. We had a mini practise for tomorrow's mock meeting assignment.

I met the main ditch today, to pay her the money that I owed her and then proceed to have dinner. Nothing much...as usual. Then, one thing caught my attention but I had no much comment, just smiled. Now, she is aiming to have a working boyfriend so that her financial statements pretty much secure. She just could get anything and everything from her boyfriend without worrying about money...and even better a credit card usage for her. There was one part I actually called her to repeat..."when I have working boyfriend..there will be no problem with transportation....just call me, anytime". I simply answered...thats good...and she replied...Exactly! I have no comment after that.

I started to criscrossed the wire to the next table of 3 veterans. I think one of the guy was a writer or something. He mentioned that he kept a diary for 2 decades...pretty much reminded me of my dad. That guy intended to publish his works. I think he did already published some. A bit old story..back about the time when Japanese invasion and Communist. bet it is interesting to listen to a person who had been thru some war time.  I did asked my mum before where she was when the 13 May 1969 event occured.

say cheese :D

hahaa...Got a warning by my lab tutor because me and my lab partner were such a lazy assess, we didnt prepare anything beforehand before coming to the lab...hehe

But we had a great time...trying to solve the binary to gray code conversion and to K-map and to..whatever...a long process, we high-5 each time we got the right equation, took an hour and half to finish 1 question...no wonder our lab tutor gave us a warning and 30 minutes later...he came to our place and threw us out from the lab..."you guys can pack and go home"...because it was already end of the lab session...hahahahaha

i found myself having a great time singing today..la la la di da da da

Totally burned!

I got up with a great feeling. I could even joke with my friends in that early morning. We were hoping for the 8am class to cancel since there was a technical failure but failed. This girl whom I have known not long ago, came sat beside me. She looked perfectly fine at first. She asked me something about the assignment. After for a while, suddenly she turned to me and asked something again but I was shocked, her eyes were red...yea, she was crying..All of sudden...must have got to do with her text messaging earlier just now.

It was raining, we just sat around and had our breakfast in a food court for 2 hours before the next class. Sat there, observed people eating. There was a Korean guy, if Im not mistaken....he ordered 2 plates of rice and finished 1 plate and half of the other plate. Looking at people style's of eating. Some blow their food before put it into the mouth. Some have their hands wide apart, holding the fork and spoon without touching the table.

I started to terribly swirling by noon class and still raining...more heavier. My friend and I were hoping again...that the class was going to cancel but failed again.

After that class, I had another 2 hours to spare...couldnt go back home, rain still pouring. I was feeling terribly cold too. Spent some time in the lab but couldnt take it for long and spent an hour sitting outside the lobby and looking. This guy was eating ice cream, passing by in front of me and happened to drop the wrapper purposely...oh damn!

and then, I overheard a conversation between a senior student and the junior. the senior student just finished her midterm test...and funny was the junior asked the senior.."is it midterm test very important? I heard someone said...." I laughed a little. Of course, Midterm test is important.

30 minutes before the next class, I started to swirl again even decide to ditch the class..but i didnt do it and waited for the time. Saw this main ditch's ex-classmate walked passed by. He didnt recognize me at first but he did turned vigorously and looked before he replied a wave...I always thought it was pretty unusual to get a hello wave from him...haha. Anyhow, I waved back to him.

On the way to the 4pm class...met with my 2 friends. Apparently, they were on their way back home. They decided to ditch the maths class..haha. Maths class was so dry, the lecturer still sucks but I did understand a bit today on what he was teaching with the swirling thingy going on too. Few times, my head fall to the side...haha

Sun was out after finished class...yahoooo!

So cold..brrrr!

It has been raining the whole day here.

Check at the forecast...going to be cloudy and rainy for the next 5 days too.

Melaka condition at 2pm :

windchill : 37F/3C

humidity : 100%

dew point : 73F/23C

high:31C low:22C

Woo...Beauty of natures make me smile :)

Very nice sunset today...I couldnt really see the orangy of the sun because of the blockage from the houses. As I walked more further, more hilly area..woo, I was amazed, totally amazed by the striking orangy sky as if there was a volcano opening its mouth.

I think people in the street, most probably afraid my present look because I may be look scary at their eyes, some sort crazy or a person who walks blindly that is going to hit any pole right in front of me anytime. I found a nice spot...oh well, not really at all. I used to stand at the corner of the street or at the junction...stand and look. As the matter of today, stand at a junction that I have never stand there before.

So, I arrived at Pasar Malam and bounced the ditch and the gang because I thought wont meeting her there caused I arrived late...and at time she was going back home.

I hate this part that she must have felt that she was abandoning me and stuff. So, she chucked her gang and accompany me...as I argued funnily in the middle of the pasar malam..(haha..always do that..I just dont care) and she always end the line with "jilin, shut up". Well, im ok if i dont have any company or need anyone to follow. but if she feels good doing that...just let it be.

OK...well i think i found a high up place to watch the sunset....some corner there...haha...and I think my school, any buildings as long as they are high up few floors

Nothing much to write today...basically IM HAAAPPPPYYYY! :D :D

H-A-P-P-Y...do you know there is a nursery rhyme song for happy?

I remembered when I was in kindergarten, we had this small mini concert and I had to perform a dancing show with that H-A-P-P-Y.

5 fellas, each wears a box written with the Happy letters. I think I was the A letter.

hahahaha...

I like it...it is not distraction...it is break in between.

I have been doing this uhh..c++ assignment for days or a week. When really stuck, stop doing everything and start doing something else like clean the room, clean the house, eat, blogging and the most important even is going out for a walk.

When I have done with this little things and come back to the c++, somehow I will get to some new solution or solve the problem.

messenger works well for online discussion with friends. i did that with my friends yesterday. Well i have to help them checkout their coding and debugged. It was ok. My friends just couldnt stand me...haha. If im going to show them my food pictures again, they are going to kill me...haha.

got a free tutorial on photography today...awesome! got a free e-book on photography for dummies...haha...awesome! I'll check it out when have time.

Happy Sunday!

Boiled Pink Potato

Slice Carrot with Baked Bean

Cucumber

Salad

Parsley Flakes

2 Toast Breads

1 Cup of Tea

yum yum :)

Woke up with an extremely good feeling, headed to class in Graphics lab...wow, the monitor...damn huge...24 inches, bigger than my head...haha but the class was boring, new tutor.

Went back home after 2 hours, after lunch...started cleaning my room and the house..in and out. Rain started to pour. The weather has been quite weird lately. Cloudly still warm and on and off sun rays and it rains...only few drops..Stop! few drops again...Stop! A heavy one...Stop! It was nice...a bit chilling.

2.30pm, walked under the rain to school for a group discussion. Ended up...brainstorming session was a failure. So, when to PC Fair that is happening at the Exam Hall.

Still raining, my friend gave me a lift home...and asked them if they want any mangoes, just pluck them from the tree outside my house...haha..

All of Sudden, a bit coughing and went to nap. Damn, this time...this smell woke me up, some kind of oil, that kind for start burning...Etana, Mentana....dont know...haha..I know I have weird spelllings there.

Woke up from nap and immediately started to help my friend debugged her C++ program....and now im start to code again but thought of blogging first...wahahaha

Frrrrrrriiiiiiiidddddddaa aaaayyyyyyy............yyyeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I want to eat KFC, KFC, KFC ..... :lol:

It is so new...my friend eventually more advanced than me...so, I decided to update for a look.

Well, the main thing is the pc-2-pc call...so no more audio, want audio just make a call but in order to make call..that person must have the same version too.

sharing photos...drag and drop from folder...but there isnt any share photos from yahoo!photos

sending file...works like send file from msn...less dialog box

and the rest probably the same.

I know where is the level of my skills of driving...I still need a third hand however, if you dont know what is my level...dont judge, and dont think that I can drive with just a few driving classes I attended...just shut up if you dont know anything.

One thing was running in main ditch's head, thinking to get a car or a ride or whatever with 4 wheels to town. if you dont know how to be hardworking or trouble yourself or whatever it is to get to town with public transport, dont ever think that you could survive staying alone in some other places...cause you probably would doom....

back to her...so she suggested that she would rent a car and i was the one who is going to drive. I was shocked and thought how dumb was the idea...because im not going to survive even 10 meters. She tried to convince me that the place that we are going is not far....yes I know, wasnt far but hey....big roads, many cars, lorry, buses, what!? Who's going to responsible for the act of reckless driving and illegal(im without license)...and she wanted a guarantee to return home safely...I bet We wont. Really pissed me off with her silly idea...then I suggested purposely why not you drive? Immediately she said big NO...because she wasnt going to take the risk, she knows nothing about driving but always thought she could drive. She told me...if someone experienced would be able to guide her..probably she could do it...damn you! you're going to screw up in the first place...and I probably would vomit on her face.

maybe there's one thing...spend some time with her...to see how dumb is a human being...

Beautiful Wednesday morning...wooo! I had recharged myself overnight...

im feeling GOOOOD

as the matter of fact, monday is always the long outing

Tuesday is always the fcuking damn enormous exhaustion that I always look dead on tuesday.

Well, after stucked with c++ yesterday hours ago. I left everything and started to do some silly dances, wash clothes, shower, eat and did a simplification question for my friend before bed. I thought of waking up at 3am. I did but I fall back to sleep again after the bell rang.

I got 3 dreams...the last one was me and a few people were in the bus heading to a place to insearch for an answer. We didnt have much clue...the dream ended that I started to browse an old book or diary that might have some clues inside..

*laugh*...definitely felt wasting time to come to that maths class which lasted only an hour. Changed lecturer again...oh damn! From all of 3 lecturers had taught us. This is the worst one.

Why? Why teachers feel frustrated when the students cant understand a single thing? Do they actually think that the problems always with the students? Do they ever think about their delivery? Do they ever think that the problem is with them?

I was hitching a ride in the main ditch's class yesterday...A class on data structures and algorithm. Oh lord! another boring lecturer...I think that a person who is going to teach programming must be a person who knows flawless about programming and good in explanation or have certain kind of methods to get the whole concept looks simpler. However, her lecturer..oh no! She didnt know how to explain, cant think of any good example, even confused with the coding..and kept repeating the same diagram several times which the students cant understand.

After 10 minutes rolling on the bed, I thought that I couldnt fall asleep but the process was like I felt the emptiness inside my body. It was funny and weird. After another 10 minutes, I felt like Im going to die tonight and woke up and started keeping all my things inside the drawer.

Then, I remembered I saw some like...That Digi Service sent a sms notice at 6 in the morning,,what duh! I remembered I did took up my phone and started to read the message, lasted first few last lines before I dropped again....this time I felt like I was sleeping in a forest or whatever, the smell of the leaves were so strong...for real that rambutan with leaves produce some smells.

Went into a dream, that I received a call or sms, saying that they were few peoples went missing when they went in the forest to pluck some rambutan....haha

After wokeup, certainly I couldnt remember that about sms until I checked it.

finally, back at home after 14 hours, tired and zzZZzzZZ....feel terribly tired after reaching home. Wont really feel that much tired if im out, I suck all the energy from the people around me to keep me alive and wahaha.....

Well, I was with main ditch today and she updated me with her splitting case with her boyfriend...I wasnt surprise at all that that sucker attempted suicide just to get attention. That was a big IDIOT which she agreed too! Why she want to do it when she is afraid to die ...or instantly? and bla bla bla...boring

I only brought along RM7.80 to school today, had my lunch for 2.30 and went to Jusco with the main ditch....back and forth 3.00 and survived the last 2.50 to buy myself a decent dinner.

Started to torture her by making her walk alot. Walked to Pasar Malam to get a decent dinner and walked back to my house before walked to my friend's house in Melawis, sending them some Rambutan. She, clearly was over exhausted...at the end of walking back home, she kept sighing and kept talking about what is she going to do after this and stuff....boring.

hahaha...im tired...

I woke up from nap because of the smell from the kitchen bothered me. Head was a bit heavy, spinning and felt weird. If focus too deep or much, you'll en d up feeling that you are actually not sleeping at all.

I jerked many times between the process of sleeping. Each time jerk, ended up a bit alert or awake. It was like, trying to cross over to another place but pretty much stucked at the entrance. I remembered when I first tried to relax and the images that I was getting was some strong winds gushing and heavy rains. Few times too, I felt I struggled a bit with the nerves pulled at my lower abdomen. I wasnt sure if that was included but I woke up with some slight pain at the lower abdomen before it went off.

-----------------

Happy Sunday!

Oh no! I always have problem with the door and the gate and the grill gate and whatever...my housemate is going to hate me for life. Mum already started complaining about her for not being friendly and bla bla bla... :roll:

I missed a key, I happened to stay out

I came back home late, I happened to stay out

I broke the door lock, I happened to stay out

I did bring my keys and thought I didnt, I didnt stay out...

what's the problem? they dont know when im out or in...haha

Visited my dad's mute and deaf sister today in her 2nd floor apartment and my dad had troubled to reach her when she happened to be inside the house alone, door all shut and just couldnt know how to get her open the door. Her son wasnt at home at this point.

my mum asked my dad if he did knocked the door. It was pointless. She couldnt hear anything. I guess it was pretty much dangerous with her situation. Wont hear anything too when pressed the doorbell and my mum suggested to flash a light from the torchlight as a signal.

I started to think then, if anyone has or already did invented a doorbell with flashing light inside the house for deaf people...

seen any deaf and mute people own a cellphone? most of them have one, they dont use to call, pretty much use for text messaging, keep some kids, hubby and etc pics in the phone, they ask unmute people to help them to make call and pass their message to them. cool, huh! I was thrilled when I got to witness it.

im always a bit late or outdated...only watched the happening on CNN after few days of the major event had happened.

I remembered I did said something on.."a big catastrophy going to happen" weeks ago when the clouds were a bit weird and currently tune in to any news TV or newspaper, you would probably have seen and heard about the major blast news.

wahahaha....I have an extra sensory skills. Did it really link? I dont know...ahaha

That laksa seller looks so dull, I have never seen her smiling and when I want to order my food, it is like a big burden showering her as if forcing herself to do it. Her son also the same, no smile or anything, just plain dull. They dont have that "welcoming" again stuff. Most likely...comes from the genes....waahahahahaha

That owner of the Mesra MMU eating shop's wife is another pain in the ass, always in dull mode, never seen her smile at all, no thank you, no nothing. Her husband is more different, friendly, smiling, and welcomes you back.

The uncle chicken rice is still the best...wahahaha

When it comes to Friday, this place looks dry...

Was it melancholy? very silent, contemplate, uninspire since yesterday. Today was an unproductive day. I knew it since I woke up because I ditched my lab session today. Had decided to do so since yesterday, thought of that horrible, terrible, totally, absolutely boring tutor.

So, decided to do the art of sleeping like a pig...yea, i have never slept for long long hours, woke up around 10 something and slept back again around 12.

was strucked by the art of boredom, no mood in doing anything and unprodcutive day. I didnt want to stay in and get myself rotten and get more lazy. This weekend my friends all have gone back to their hometown.

almost postponed the idea of heading to Tesco but it did not happen. Cheered myself up enjoying KFC by myself and this old lady caught my attention. I wasnt feeling sad for elderly people each time I see one. It is just that I got a deep feeling when I happen to see an elderly people who walks alone, eats alone, take public transport by themselves, and etc etc. It isnt pity feeling too. It is more like they are strong even though they are already old. They are independent even though they are already old. They still can remember roadsigns and route even though they are already old.

cheered myself up, didnt care about the vitamin M fuel running low and bought myself a new skates. some people might think im crazy. Crazy! crossed that 2 roads each side with 4 lanes..thats crazy!

have a nice weekend!

friend who suddenly call up after for a long long time, nothing else better to do than want you to do a favour for her and the art of calling after a long time only lasted with 1 line.."how are you?" and then proceed on with the intention of the call. I dont like to get call from anyone who doesnt or never call at all. It is freaking shit because they have nothing else but favour. So, dont call at all! It is really turning me off...I would never want to have contact with any of it again.

people who has already planned and dont doubt about it and dont stick to it and doubt about it again and make a sudden change for stupid reason and draft out the outcome before even launch the plan thats turning me off too....I would never want to make any plans with this kind of person again, a person who isnt sure, doubtful.

it is really pissing me off...wahahaha. Damn that lady!

Finally finally I met her...

I was walking senseless back home, passing thru the row of shops below Emerald Park. Suddenly, I saw a girl waved vigorously at me and coming towards me. I wasnt sure if she waved at me or someone else but somehow I responded. I cant remember if I did waved back instantly all I knew I flunged her a smile and took me a few seconds to generate who was she.

oh, it was my dad's old old old time best buddy's daughter which I have been trying to find her since she started schooling here last month. (yea, im working unofficially in her dad's company as an account clerk only on my school holiday because my dad is my boss and he is my dad's boss) haha...complicated huh!...Quite surprise and If I could find her, I probably wont recognize it was her and I was surprise that she recognized me. I havent seen that lady for a long time.

I guessed that the last time I saw her was somewhere on Chinese New Year gathering years back. She spoke very little, have screw eyebrows and tense. Her mum always put her in a bad frame in our eyes by telling that she behaved badly in school and stuffs. She was adopted by them when she was 4 or 5. I remembered that when she was young, she was quite smart and witty girl.

And today when I saw her and spoke to her, she was fine and I guess she will be fine here and she is going to do well.

I feel a bit bad after I had posted the package today...Did I write the sender name correctly? Is it going to arrive to the right person and stuff...haha, that wasnt melancholy at all, thats what I called 'worried'. Anyway, hope it will arrive to the right location and the right person..haha

Sometimes, you know you already have check all the switches and stuff before leaving the house ensure everything is on the right place. You know you have done that but after for a while...you are feeling unease and start to doubt if you have off the kitchen light before leaving. What is that? What type of message that we are getting? Why do we have this kind of feeling?

During the maths class, all of sudden the thought of death popped up from my mind and gave a few chills, hopelessly thinking about someone who is close to me leaving the world.

Read something about "Assuming Responsibilites" and thought there was something could relate too

After 3 hours later...it got over me, im overdose, im caffeinated...

I was feeling tired just now, doing window shopping with my friend and planning to take a short nap right after get back home but it hit me right after I got back, so now im having self-abusing ...haha...feeling one kind on my chest, I didnt feel sleepy anymore maybe a little bit but couldnt sleep, having problem of writing, hands a bit trembled...the signed!

so, forgive me if im acting a little strange

------------------------- ------------------------- ------------------

Ice blended Caramel - Coffee Bean

This week wasnt about the intoxication of armpit smell, it was about perfume and wondered when it got more thicker and thicker and nearer. I asked my lab partner if she did smelt anything and it turned out to be hers before she brought her hand nearer to my nose for me to smell. wooo...luckily it wasnt musky, if not i would be already laying on the bed right after class

Finally finally...my tblog doesnt look handicap in my eyes anymore, no more that sql warning fetch sign but still a little buggy at times.

nothing much today...as my attempt for astral travelling failed. of course, wont get there instantly, need some time.

It was blur, I could see the pink blanket but it was just so blur and couldnt hold the image and it changed to a different dream - involved friends, school, house and teachers.

I came back home after my 8am class, luckily ended 1 hour earlier and continued to sleep. This was the best time, to get some vivid dreams...wakes up, go to school, comes back and sleep again.

I realised that I did woke up 2. First, I felt a bit jerk on me and felt a bit awake before I continued to sleep back...similar dream, friends, school, teachers, house. Well, I think it was a repeated dream of what I had dreamt months back.

The second time of waking up, suddenly I took a deep inhale as if I had suffocated and then I was awake and lost everything, the image, the sight...

eating eating eating....

There was a guy in my digital class who is handicapped, maybe infected by some kind of disease at a young age. I have been wondering for weeks, because I keep seeing an old man, waiting outside the class and today I came to my knowledge that the old man is his father, pushing him on the wheelchair everywhere in the school, to class, carry him into the class where classes that happen to have steeps.

Back then when I was in primary school, there was this boy who had polio, on a wheelchair. His mother never failed to send him to school everyday, his friends help to push him around, everyone was helpful. When I was in high school. He went to same school as me and the rest of his friends. His mother still doing the best that she could and yet everyone still very helpful and One day..had not seen him for some time before the news spread all around the school that he had passed away at the aged of 15. His best friends who had been around with him since primary schools were sad about it. It was like they had been friend for a long long time and had passed away suddenly. His mother made a huge cake and sent it to school during assembly time as a token of thank you to the school and everyone. I bet his mother was strong in that sense but there's always a but...

so, i just couldnt figure out. there must be something that we can learn from here. There are a lot of questions that we could think about. But im wondering parents had did a lot of stuff. Can I said that it is a sacrifice? But i think it is a worthy sacrifice, to be able to be there for your kids and getting more close bond. What about the perspective of the handicaps? Do they really think about ending their lives at once as their time hasnt come yet? Do they think that they have burden their parents so much? I dont know...but I like to see that parents and their kids are into one, fighting, struggling, help each other and be strong to be in a shape. I dont know...they fight for it.

aku tak sepatutnya pakai kasut hari ni gi sekolah...dahlah tau kaki tumit ku sakit pasal semalam dengan tak sengajanya terhantuk kat besi katil. Lepas tu, katil tu tak berbunyi lagi bila nak tidur, pusing kiri pusing kanan. hah, kaki ku tidak sengaja membetulkan katil ku tapi aku pulak yang mendapat padah disebaliknya....haha

tak pe tak pe..im ok jer. tak de jalan cam kaki tempang...wahaha

ahkir kata, selamat membaca kepada orang yang tau baca...yang lain tu, terjemahkan sendiri, kalau lah boleh diterjemahkan pasal ada singkatan dan lain lain..wahahah

I woke up around 11am, sitting in front of my pc, having breakfast and reading online newspaper before I was rushed to my friend's house to rethink about the project proposal.

spent there almost 8 hours, gulped down a double beef cheeseburger..woo! and some fish crackers...and after many many hours, I was so tired to think for constructing the lines for the proposal but we made it.

sitting there, reading the entire magazine, practically waiting for another friend of us to come back from library. a friend of us who came down from cyberjaya for the weekend. planned to go dinner together, the 3 of us...and after the long awaiting, turned out the other way round. She extended another hour in the library and my another friend had to go out with her friend. so, I decided to go home. It was nice to walk back again from my previous housing area to my house here.

came back home, thought going to stuck outside the house..yea, dumb i had my keys with me...wont get stuck anyway. No one was at home, chest feeling a bit heavy,oh, it is repeating...what happened last saturday. felt like the saturday had repeated. bet that I must be hungry and it was the cause...haha and i was feeling tired, listened to lamb,,,and now feeling dejavu....listened to lamb makes me wanna cry

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
A Short Summary

Fourth Agreement: Do Your Best

Always doing your best allows the other 3 agreements to become deeply ingrained habits, and your best becomes better than it used to be. Do your best, no more and no less. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself and it will take you longer to accomplish your goal. If you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgements, guilt and regrets. Just do your best in any circumstance in your life.

Doing your best is taking action because you love it, not because you’re expecting a reward. People work for the reward / money so they resist work. They try to avoid the action and it becomes more difficult and they don’t do their best. They work all week , suffering the action and get drunk on the weekends to escape. If you take action just for the sake of doing it, without expecting a reward, you will enjoy every action you do. Rewards will come, but you won’t be attached to them. The ability to interact with the world around you is a wonderful gift you should enjoy. Do your best because you want to, not because you are trying to please others, or because you need a paycheck.

Forrest Gump movie example: Gump didn’t have great ideas, but he took action. He was happy because he always did his best at whatever he did. He didn’t expect rewards, but was richly rewarded. Taking action is being alive.

Do your best to fulfill the needs of your body. If taking a shower feels good, make it a ritual. Make sure to exercise. Your body is a manifestation of God and if you honor your body, you are honoring God.

By doing your best, the habits of misusing your word, taking things personally and making assumptions will become weaker and less frequent with time. You don’t need to judge yourself, feel guilty or punish yourself if you cannot keep these agreements in every instance, but try to be a great warrior who can defend the four agreements with your life. The reward is to transcend the human experience of suffering, to become the embodiment of God. Don’t be concerned with the future. Enjoy the dream that is happening right now. Stay in the present moment and live one day at a time. Do your best to keep the four agreements and soon it will be easy for you.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
A Short Summary

Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions

The problem with assumptions is that we actually believe they are the truth. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking, we take it personally and react by sending emotional poison with our word. We gossip about our assumptions and transfer poison to one another.

There are many things that the reasoning mind can’t explain. This is why we make assumptions. It is not important that the answer to our questions is correct, just the answer itself makes us feel safe. When you stop making assumptions with your partner and others, your way of communication will change completely and your relationships will no longer suffer from mistaken assumptions. The way to prevent making assumptions is to ask questions. If all humans could communicate clearly, with impeccability of the word, there would be no violence or misunderstandings…no wars.

Im amazed with it...I remembered I did mentioned before..."this is what I call music"

pretty much different from any finnish groups and artist that I heard. Well, only listen to a few finnish groups so maybe it it wasnt enough to be compared but still very much different.

funny thing that I didnt realise that it has moved to the other track because all of the tracks were continuous...haha

There are several movements in one piece. The clarity of each instruments that is played solo projected how well it is played, parts by parts...that what is it...the directness of music

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
A Short Summary

Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. People live in their own dream. Everyone is in their own world. A direct insult to you has nothing to do with you. The insult is the result of the programming the insulter received during domestication. A happy person will compliment others whether or not others are worthy of compliments. If people gossip about you, and you don’t take it seriously, you are immune to the emotional poison, but it becomes more damaging to the sender. If you don’t take anything personally, you can follow your heart without fear of being ridiculed.