#17 Pursue a long neglected dream

Anna longed to be an artist. Though she lacked paint, she used berry juice to satisfy her passion. However, after her marriage, she was forced to set her hobby aside. Life on the family farm, especially with a husband and children, kept her busy around the clock. She found a few minutes for embroidery in the evenings but arthritis eventually made that pastime painful. Long past retirement age, she decided to return to her childhood joy. She picked up the a paintbrush once again and at age 78, began to sell her artwork - today is the day to go after your dream.

#18 Buy something whimsical at a garage sale

You will be kinder to others when you have first been kind to yourself. So dont be afraid to indulge in the occasional childlike pleasure, as long as it presents no danger for you or others. And these adventures in self-aggredizement need not break the bank. A few cents for a garage sale treasure can leave you with a happy heart - give yourself a gift today for no reason at all!

30 May 2006

I went for swimming for the first time after a long break. I wasnt perform that well. Well, the fact that I still could swim but my rhythm for frog style went all wrong. Only one time, about 3m or so I felt wow, I was at my best and the rest I was poor.

31 May 2006

I felt something in my chest, felt as if there is something pressing on top of my chest. I wasnt right after dinner. I was talking to my sister in her room. I told her about the incident I saw at the Food Court in KLCC today.

A foreign traveller was carrying his food and 2 drinks on a tray. He was carrying a backpack too on one side. 2 of the drinks fell on top of his tray and flooded the tray and he was unbalanced as well, when his backpack slipped from his shoulder, causing the coke dripped most of all on his backpack and some on the floor, causing some slight splash on certain people who were eating. At the end, all coke were gone. When I was at the scene, I started to think what if the guy was me or Iga. How would I feel? Would I be ashamed? Would I take it as a carelessness? What would I do next? Would I just enjoy the food with coke as the soup? or buy new one?

When I told my sister about this incident, she responded to my story.."how clumsy!" When I heard the word "clumsy", I started to laugh like hell and after that when I stopped, I felt as if there is something left in my chest which hasnt properly come out. Some kind of blockage but why did I respond with a laugh when I heard that.

31 May 2006

I spent some time with my dad today. He wanted to come along for a sightseeing tour at the capital but he has to drive...:D. For real, after the haste crisis I had and caused some havoc in my family, I have totally dropped the perception about my dad. The old perception of him that he didnt know how to manage the financial and etc, how I didnt like the whole thing about his ways....I have dropped everything. In fact I did mentioned in one of those email to me that Im willing to help if I can and What I like about it later on, he started to be more open in certain issues. You just need to love this man, guide him whats new in the city, spend some time together. For example, I suggested to go swimming and yes I went for swimming yesterday after a long break. 

Most people, they dislike their father because they couldnt forget about the things that he has done with them, things which caused them to hate their father. But I have to say is....you have to drop everything and you just need to love this man, your father. Dont feel sorry or regret when he is gone later.

We went to KLCC today. Kinokuniya was closed for some maintenance work...Damn! The weather was good. I took a walk around the park, took some pictures. I showed him where was the LRT station, how to purchase ticket and so on. Spent some time in the Coffee Bean. Too much of coffee, I felt nausea...haha. Later on, we intended to go for Aquaria to pass the time but then we afraid that our time management for other things might effected so dismissed the idea. Well I had a great day.

It was 7pm and drizzling. The sunset was beautiful with some dark clouds at the east side. Totally contrast and superb. We arrived at New Port Seafood Village, that same old place. I didnt like it if it is a good for food, it is going to be the same for every time until the food starts to feel a bit lousy. What a tradition!

Yes, I didnt enjoy the food that night. It was too dried for me, too hard to swallow, vegetable was far away, fish was going to be empty when I wanted some. Oh, I didnt know why, why cant people be more relax when the food has arrived on the table. Food cant go anywhere.

I have a new affection on theme for photography - legs. There is something to tell from the interaction of legs.

I couldnt sleep well that night. I was supposed to sleep with my mum and aunt on the same bed. I squeezed in the middle and I just couldnt breathe and uncomfortable and went off to my sister's room. Luckily she has an extra mattress. 

28 May 2006

I have forgotten how much I hate the way how my aunt would wake us up in the morning. It was as irritating as my mum. I woke up at 8am, my sister and I were sitting upright, still looking like a zombie. Yeah, both of us couldnt sleep well. Get ready for "Bak kut teh" for breakfast. Uncle John and his wife were there for breakfast as well. Again! I couldnt enjoy and feel the food.

It was a sunny day, a nice day, after breakfast, We went to Uncle John's house in Subang. We actually decided to take train to the city center. A must try train ride and driving to KL on weekend a bit frustrating. All those traffic jams, looking for parking and etc.

The spot of the day Times Square. Sometimes they hanged in one shop too long and got me a bit boring. I was holding the camera all the time. So, I had the opportunity. The view from the 10th floor was amazing. Food court situated at that level. On the right side, it was facing the indoor theme park and the other side, looking the KL city. Nothing much after that, we were back at Uncle John's place again after 5pm and then it was time to bid farewell. We had a great time and hope could do it again.

28 May 2006

I was the navigator of the day. Journey started at 12 noon. It was a beautiful day. I was the youngest member in the team. The driver might be aged 60+, I wasnt sure about that but he looked strong and compose. Toyota Corolla Atlis air-cond was way powerful. what I like about it was it was able to be manually control the temperature like the air-cond we have in the buildings.

I directed them coming from the backway rather than using the Federal Highway, passing thru the Klang Town as it should be purposely passing the Klang Town since they havent been here for ages. After all, I was proud of myself because I know how to go back home...haha. We didnt get lost, we just used the other alternative route. And most of all I learnt it from my dad :D. I saw it many times so I know it. We arrived here exactly 2 hours. Of course my mum was super happy to see her sisters here and wished her 2 younger brothers were here too.

I think I had constipation. My stomach showed no sign of urgency and I kept inputting more food until I couldnt feel if Im hungry or not but I just eat. My sister and my cousin arrived, bringing pizza back. Yes, had pizza for teatime, that was too luxurious. No one told me about the plan of the night as they started to busy taking shower. Yes, we were going out for Seafood. When I was on the way to the seafood place, I had some flashback. I remembered about my last year birthday where we went for seafood with Iga in the car, sitting next to my dad. The road was a 2 way street and my dad happened to drive to the right lane and there was a car coming from the opposite. He accelerated more when the car was already flashing some signal to get off to the correct lane. That was funny. But I could tell you that, some slight flashback. The same place for Seafood.

I started off this semester with a funeral and had to resit for discrete supplementary paper in the first week. The result wasn’t satisfying as I failed the supplementary paper. I was in a blur mode for a week or two after the funeral and get hardworking with school later on. Yes, somehow I enjoyed to be a student, flexible time and so on. Even though homework loaded a big pile but just enjoyed to solve them and also some frustrating lecturers.

My concentration was good. I attended most of the classes although I had my own on-leave for each subjects at least twice and not more than that. I was more open with people. I could tell my tough time I had been thru last semester, something to be shared. I felt I was more wiser in some areas of life and not afraid to share with other people and more surprising, things around me started to change bit by bit at least people that I have known for life. I actually have been realizing more things about myself. Some good points which I should probe in more details. More wiser, more mature, grow more and so on. Holding it is a bit difficult, it might slip anytime and What can it be done, just have to see and learn, picking up the pieces and start from there again.

I have to admit that I missed out a few assignments. I was a bit depressed with it or myself that I wasn’t that capable to solve things but I have tried to do my best. If I couldn’t get that done, I have to focus on other part to rise the marks. I got a few new friends. I got a new stuff. I composed some songs and extra hardworking for 2/3 weeks for final exam.

26 may

The last paper of all, this is it. It was raining today. I returned 4 books to the library with a fine cost RM5.60 and the receipt was so long, longer than a grocery shopping list. When I was in the exam hall, I had some slight flashback or transported to the scene where I was in Cameron Highlands. The cold in that exam hall felt the same as in CH. My old diploma lecturer was one of the invigilator. She came by to my place and wished good luck.

Im feeling a bit weird. Not so anxious or anything, I just need to take in more air…haha and I miss my man. I would have more time to do the things that I want or like. Why not write a book? Someone suggested to me to free my mind and write a book in order to get some extra income. Sad to say that my weight  has dropped 1kg, no allowance from the loan because under probation and cant go anywhere without a valid passport. Anyhow, something will always keep me accompany.

Kill, kill, kill, pc got infected with virus. I was helping my brother to download autocad 2006 serial number and guess what, downloaded the unknown file, the unknown from the inside and the outside was something we couldn’t judge. Don’t judge a book by its cover :D

I have tried to cure it but the problem is I couldn’t find the exact location of where is the infected files.

Something to be downloaded:

Marillion - Ocean Cloud

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;  - The Invisible Man

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;  - Neverland

I like:

Arcturus - Winter Grey

  - ad astra

  - For to End Yet Again

I am not happy

26 May 2006

It was weird. At least twice of my sleeping time have been the same or maybe since yesterday. I got alert after 2 hours of sleep, checked the time and felt as though I had slept long. Later that, kept waking up after 30minutes or something and felt the same again.

I had a dream. A bit blur. I was visiting this new place with my friends and relatives. Hmm, what I can remember was I was served some new recipe and tasted some of new recipe desert. The desert was in rectangular jelly with pimples, outside was purple color and inside was dark color.

#15 Do something nice for someone and do it first

Receiving is passive and an end in itself. But giving is active. It produces, generates and creates. Those who give to others set into motion a cycle of blessing that often includes feelings of joy, happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment and a deep, abiding sense of purpose. Nothing else in life produces so many benefits.

Giving first only serves to accentuate the experience. It is a genuine expression of love. Indeed, it is love's finest hour - giving first to others is ultimately the best gift you can give to yourself.

#16 Schedule a "mental health day" each quarter

Try spending an entire day doing what is enjoyable, luxurious, special and rewarding to your inner soul. It may be a day spent with dear friends or a day of walking in a beautiful setting, soaking in bubbles, indulging in an afternoon nap or reading a good book by a roaring fire. Truly relax and enjoy your time apart from the busyness of life. Focus on your things eternal, meaningful and joyful.

These periodic personal retreats are guaranteed to make you feel refreshed and more balanced with a fresh willingness to tackle the tasks at hand - time off to get in touch with yourself

#13 start something and finish it

"there!" and "whew!" are 2 of the most satisfying exclamations in the english language, especially when they punctuate the completion of a difficult task. Bringing a project or chore to completion evokes feelings of satisfaction, relief and inner pride.

Someplace in your home or office is a task that has just been sitting there waiting for you to come along and lift your happiness quotient by completing it. Dive in and get it done! You'll be glad you did - nothing feels better than a job well done.

#14 Recognize that "happy" is a choice

Sure, happiness is an emotion, but it is also choice. You can choose to be happy rather than sad, optimistic rather than pessimistic, or hopeful rather than doubtful. In that regard at least, no one can steal your happiness-it is yours to do with as you please - to embrace happiness, you must first let go of misery.

25 May 2006

I was feeling down as if I was losing my power and strength. I could not grasp it firmly and dropped  it on the ground, standing before it, looked hopelessly with my teary eyes. I started to feel sad for myself or is it self-pity. I was confused. Have I not known myself anymore? Why am I turning a simple situation to something complex? I just feel hopelessly sad and disappointed. Maybe I have too much involvement with the people around me, people that I know. It gets me frustrated or annoying sometimes. I wasn’t even interested having that meeting conference + cam with my sis, mum, brother, uncle and aunt. I wasn’t even interested in going out during day. Only start to walk when the sun has set. I wasn’t in the crowd much only the days when I have papers. Because of that I eventually felt weird moving in large crowd. For some reason, yesterday I started to believe that I was something that I have been wrong all this time. Maybe it just a perception. Poison mind clouded, might be. No no no, I couldn’t just sit and think to solve myself. It wont work this way. The more I think about myself, the more I would get stuck. Perhaps, Im longing for peace.

I had a dream while napping yesterday. I was at the upper floor room with my sis. These few guys were jumping and peeping from the window. Well, I was afraid of those maniac guys intention and later I asked them what were they looking. Weird thing, one of the guy came in thru the window and wanted to borrow something from my brother. Then, I sent him off, looking out the window. My house was actually opposite the port because I could see a big ship in front of me. I knew that my dream was going to end, those guys werent harmful and probably I would nicely stop and wake up but my phone suddenly rang, it did shocked me, an abrupt shock! And I could not fall back to sleep after that.

I slept at 8.30am today. I had a dream that my relatives came to visit me and my family. We had a big house, a public swimming pool, a garden and so on. They brought some food along. They enjoyed all the facilities at my place and I was asked to swim, they wanted to see. For real, at 10am I got an urgent call or surprising call from my aunt. She told me that she is going to Klang this Saturday with uncle chew and aunt helen, so I could hitch a ride with them. It was shocking as the plan I heard earlier has aborted. Now it's making me anxious, because I have to transport back to my grandma's house tomorrow evening first. And anxious, I have a lot of things to settle today. An anxious with a bit arggh…because it is a last minute plan. I don’t like last minute plan, if you want to tell me something, tell me the plan beforehand at least few days before and some spontaneous act. But no way last minute. Last minute is where the dateline is approaching. Spontaneous act is where the time is just started.

24 May 2006

My nose is still itchy and I went to bed early yesterday after there wasn’t much to study for maths anymore. I found myself tossing too much and getting up a few times between the interval, checking the time and so on. Clearly, I couldn’t sleep well, thinking that Was it too early for bed. It was a long time to reach 7.30am, maybe because I was bit anxious if I would overslept. I had a dream, it was somewhere around my room that my light switch had some problem. I was feeling awful after waking up, head dizzy, hungry and somehow I found myself with some leftover time, sitting and thinking about my body condition when I first met him. Yes, I was tensed with some bowel/bladder problem and my diet was totally went upside down.

I don’t get flu easily in my life. I don’t get it from playing under the rain or shivering in a bloody cold room or even swimming. The truth is that Im alergic to dust. Once, I cleaned my room window that had not been cleaned for ages and the next thing I knew that I started to sneeze and sneeze and there was it, I got flu, walking around the house with a toiletpaper roll under my armpit, sneezed too much until my ears and eyes dried. Heavy fluid ran down my nose every seconds, busy wiping and for 2 weeks, I had sleepless nights. Tell me is there any best way or position to sleep when having flu.

#11 Choose to see the best in others

Life is about choices and one of the more important is how we view other people. We can choose to focus on an individual's good points or keep our eyes on those things that annoy us. We can choose to acknowledge and praise an individual's gifts, talents, contributions and good work or we can choose to be blind to the positive characteristics and see only their faults.

How you choose to see others, to a very great extent, becomes your opinion of your own self-worth. To see the good in others is to acknowledge the giver of all good gifts and the author of love and acceptance - tell someone today what you admire most about him or her.

#12 Exercise, exercise, exercise

The human body is like the battery-toting bunny in television commercials - it will keep going and going if it is connected to the right energy source. Disregard the body's basic needs, however and it will collapse right into the ground. One of the basic needs your body craves is regular exercise-hear-starting, blood pumping, adrenaline raising activity.

While exercise may seem inconvenient, boring and tedious at times, its benefits are abundant and keeping your body at its peak is sure to enhance your sense of general well being. What are you waiting for-get up and get going! - exercise your right to be happy

I heard from some people that they don’t prefer to do exercise because :

• Lazy
• Difficult
• Don’t like to sweat
• Gonna be so tired

24 May 2006

22 May 2006

Network was awesome yesterday, could get 7-15 kb/s speed for downloading. I was glad that I managed to finish 1 chapter of reading for my maths subject. It has been hard to reopen the books after resting for some time. I woke up with a stomach pain today, it must have been such a long since I have eaten.

#7 Smile at strangers

Few actions require so little and give back so much as a smile! Your smile to a stranger may be the only bright spot in that person's day, and there's a bonus in that smile for you as well. That’s the great thing about smiles, they inspire happiness in both the receiver and the sender.

Add the "smile factor" to your daily routine for one week. Smile when you pass someone; smile at the folks in the elevator; smile at the motorist in the next car. You are sure to find your world less intimidating, your interactions with others more satisfying, and your personal happiness growing - a smile is a gift to you and to others

#8 Thank someone

No one is an island. From the day we are born until the day we die, we are dependent upon the help of others in countless ways. Who taught you to tie your shoes and button your buttons? Who stuck with you until you mastered long division or learned to read? Who encouraged you and helped you land your first job? Who taught you to love selflessly or encouraged you to use your talents to make a difference in the world?

As we grow older, our need for others becomes more acute. Our gratitude should grow in like measure. Today is a good day to call or write one of your "helpers" to say "thanks!" - develop an attitude of gratitude

21 May 2006

When the first time I heard this song from an internet radio, it caught my attention. It sounded like my past, the melody, maybe I had thought about that melody before. An 18:00 minutes long song, with a few elements inside, rock, ballad, ambience, hard rock gives me some chills in my stomach. Well, a few songs from this album of then "Marbles I" give the same feeling and thoughts.

I have spent the whole day of yesterday, indulging myself into arts :)

#5 plant something and watch it grow

Remember the simple assignment we were all given in elementary school-plant seeds in a cup of dirt and watch them grow? Didn’t it seem unbelievable that a tiny seed could become a beautiful flower or tasty vegetable? What delight we took in watering the soil, putting the small pot in the sun, and watching the first green shoots emerge. It was a moment of life-a reminder of the mystery of growth, multiplication and beauty that every living thing embodies.

That moment of pure happiness is easy to recapture. Find a small pot, fill it with soil, and plant your seeds. Then sit back and rediscover the wonder of it all - plant, and grow rich in happiness

#6 Consistently cultivate times of solitude

As a vessel takes shape on a potter's wheel, the potter applies pressure to both the inside and the outside of the pot as it spins. Without the inside pressure, the pot would collapse inward. Without the outside pressure, the pot would not retain any shape.

Human beings also need strength from the inside to withstand the everyday  pressures exerted from the outside. When we spend regular time in quiet solitude, we receive strength to withstand the pressures of life and respond to crises with faith and confidence - solitude strengthens and renews the soul as much as food and sleep strengthen and renew the body.

#3 Give myself a break

As difficult as it may be to accept, we all fail sometimes, even when we try hard to do well. The good news is that most people learn more from their failures than from their successes, and failures can create greater empathy and sensitivity for others. When you fail to forgive yourself for errors of human frailty, you disregard the instruction to love yourself "just as you are" and frustrate your own path to happiness - to forgive yourself is the greatest gift of all

19 may 2006

I must say that music has been good to my ears since yesterday. It's so good until I felt a certain sensation in my chest which caused a laughing state and went speechless halfway singing because of amazement. Certain music which can only be listened at night.

I slept for 5 hours, woke up with a feeling of hungry.

18 May 2006

It was a bit dizzy study after that 5 hours sleep, a bit meditative state too. It called me to sleep again and felt like Im going to miss my exam if I would sleep back. I stayed until 2am before I fall flat for 3 hours. I had more dizzy in my head, eyes couldn’t really open well but I was alert because I still know what I was talking about to Iga. Due to my bad condition as I know that it might be bad for my morning paper, I went back to sleep again for 1.5 hours and then I felt much better. I got a dream where I was chatting with Iga and CMX songs were running from my pc. So it was a bit half-sleep, half-alert but was good.

Oh, I was out from 8.30am - 7pm. No chance to rest yet. I had 2 papers today, Introduction to Machine Architecture and Information System Development.

------

A smile makes us look younger... while friends make us feel stronger... and they make us enjoy life.

I had survived with only 1.5 hours sleep. My friend buzzed me at 7.30am that was the best time to sleep, already deep…haha. I went out ahead than my housemate, I must have take a slow walk, by the time I reached at the exam hall, she was already arrived there. Paper was not bad. But I couldn’t remember much of the facts because there are many things need to remember. Definitions came from my own knowledge. I wasn’t feeling drowsy at all, very compose but got irritated with the guy sitting behind me who kept coughing and coughing all the way, luckily he was out early. It was pretty dark out there, seeing thru from the window as though it was 7pm and then heavy downpour. 15 minutes before end the paper, my stomach started to feel hungry as my head started to feel a bit heavy. There was some issue at a student's place. I wasn’t sure what was it about, cheating perhaps. Not sure. But to think about it, yes student can cheat with cellphone by typing some keypoints in the message box and save them, then excuse to the toilet and take a peep. Or maybe keep a paper inside your pocket, then excuse to the toilet and take a peep. Huh?! Why they never think of that? Screen the body, pockets and so on before entering exam hall. Oh, I couldn’t get to meet that lady that I wanted to meet so much. I asked my friend who was sitting in front of me for her physical description, she said that she knows her. Couldn’t locate her, maybe she has gone out from the hall early. It was still heavy rain after paper ended. I had to run under the rain. I looked like I was so terribly wet…haha. Headed for lunch with my friend, very relax and slow eating at first and then slowly picking up the speed. Yep, I have survived the night, the paper and the storm.

And now Im heading to catch some rest…I love my man!

Color Personalities

If your natural choice is the colour red, you are the outgoing type. You not only act on impulse, but you are prone to abrupt mood swings. You have a lot of compassion for fellow human beings and can be easily persuaded. Though you have an optimistic approach to life, you don't hesitate to grumble and complain as well. Your spontaneous nature is assertive, you freely voice your opinions. You have a strong sex drive and are likely to end up having extra-marital affairs, unless your strong sense of duty restrains you from indulging in wild fantasies.

The choice of this colour shows that you are basically good-natured and loyal. You are sociable but at the same time you tend to be swayed by the opinions of other people. You are a generous soul, sincere at heart. Your gestures are friendly, and inspired by goodwill. More often than not, you are overtaken by feelings of wanton elation.

If you have preference for yellow, it shows that you have a vivid imagination and lots of nervous energy. Your thoughts are clear and well organised. You do harbour a need to help the world, but you won't get the dirt under your fingernails doing that. Deep down you are a shy person and a loner; perhaps that's what makes you a reliable friend. You may not show it, but you would actually love to be respected and admired for your prudence.

Preference for the colour green shows that you are a dutiful citizen. You are not only aware but also sensitive to social customs, and bear a good name in your community. Your choice also indicates your honesty and straightforwardness. You have a normal sex drive and are very emotionally attached to your family. You have the potential to be an excellent teacher.

If your personal colour is blue, you are introspective and purposeful by nature. You hold conservative beliefs and under stressful conditions, prefer to withdraw into gentler surroundings. You seem to have a lot of control over your passions and desires, but are sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, nonetheless. You are a loyal friend and would prefer to lead a sober life.

If your choice is purple, then you are intelligent and quick-witted. You have a keen eye for detail, things which are normally overlooked by people. You are infuriated at the slightest provocation. You tend to be extremely effusive in your expressions of grief. You are a creative person and an egotist of sorts. You seem to possess a cultivated taste for the subtle in life, while recognizing the magnificent.

A personal choice of the colour brown implies that you are meticulous when it comes to work, thrifty when it comes to money, and adamant in your beliefs. You are a very reliable and composed person, not impulsive at all. You can rival a seasoned horse trader in your talent for striking the best bargain.

* extracted from mailbox

15 May 2006

I got a dream, weird and yet beautiful. I dreamt of my man. Almost look-a-like dream 2/3 years back then, he was looking at me from top view.

My mum, her sister and 2 kids dropped by to my place, bringing lunch for me. They used my stuffs, they played my stuffs, pc, piano, lamp and etc. No one was terrified when they got to know that I bought a digital piano, they eventually impressed after seeing it.

Finally, I have applied for MUET today. The exam will be in October.

I Liked the day because strangers smile at me. The sunset color was beautiful.

Ty prygel skall sjungas som botande psalm

For flogging will sing as cure psalm

Flowers blooming and I had found my love smiling and laughing

Cheering up the silence of my life

Started to study at 2am…after 3 hours, my progress started to slow down as I feel tired and head a bit spinning..:D. surprisingly, the line was good at night, at least I could listen to netradio without much interruption.

I attended a bachelor's night party with my dad and my sis, the night was belonged to my dad's sister's daughter's son, shortened it my cousin's son ….haha. A bit bored party but it was ok, I got to see for the first time my dad's sister's daughter's daughter's daughter, shortened it will be my cousin's grand-daughter. One of my cousin who has married for 2 years I think so with 1 year old son and yet, he still feels like he just married recently because he is a proud father and happily married. Recently, he just purchased a cellphone with camera for the sake of taking his son's pictures. In his cellphone, stored his wedding pics and his son pics. Kudos dude! Left the party early, hitch a ride in my 6th uncle's car. Those 2 sons of my uncle played with each other, never get bored to entertain themselves with jokes and riddles. But their parents didn’t like all those silly unrealistic imaginative type of play they have.

Before I started to study at 11pm where everyone was ready to dismiss to bed…hello, hello.

Morning to the temple…

By 8pm, my aunt called me, reported that my brother has missing. Well, not missing exactly, just couldn’t get contact with him as he should have arrived at SG long time ago. Uncle in SG also looking for him, aunt in MLK also looking for him, my aunt didn’t want my mum to worry as she and dad attended a wedding dinner, my sis didn’t pick up the phone and ….20 minutes later, reported that he has arrived at home in SG and eating….case closed! wahaha

14 May 2006

Happy Mother's Day

It is good to be back at my place, the smell as I stepped into the room. A long weekend. I was already bit anxious and worried before that, thinking do I have enough time to cover all chapters for 3 subjects. I do actually if I could keep my calmness in me.

My uncle and sister arrived at my door, wanted to use the pc for some matters and had some chance to spot-check. It freaked my uncle out about my living style and he complained a lot…haha. Before going to my grandma's house, we picked up my brother on the way..

By 11pm, I started to feel hungry. Yes, It was my dinner time but no one cares about it. So. I retired early that night, woke up within the chattering going on in the room. Couldn’t stand it but still continued to sleep. It was 8.30am, the sleeping time started to be really indulging until my sis shouted from downstairs…"d inner served!" oh yea, yea yea….I had my dinner :D at 8.30am and yet still feeling sleepy as it should be still my sleeping time. I controlled it for few hours before took a nap. In the middle of the part, I couldn’t stand the chattering downstairs, too many people, too many opinions, I feel like going back to my place but then I rethink, If I couldn’t stand staying long in Klang and even here, where else could stand to live next time other than my place and if this is draining my energy away, I need to stay strong. And I decided to stay within it and continued nap until my new usual waking time. After that, I was alert and awake. Somehow, make me believe that we can have our own time as long as you have sufficient rest, eating and so on. You still can survived.

Each time I would stay at my grandma's place, at dawn, could hear some light + medium roaring thunders with drizzling rain. It was nice if sleep on the floor, could feel the vibration each time the thunder roars.

When to temple for my grandma's 100th days. My mum just worried too much. I know she is a mother, she has the responsibilities and stuff and she worries too much and imagine with 3 aunties worry for you too.

3 fellas, uncle, mum and aunt, helped each other to sharpen the color pencil for my brother…

..and so on and on…continued later. Im tired because of too much chattering around and I feel peaceful here.

mum and aunt, helped each other to sharpen the color pencil for my brother…

..and so on and on…continued later. Im tired because of too much chattering around and I feel peaceful here.

10 May 2006

A cloudy day. Net still numb like yesterday. I was anxious, trying to keep calm. My mum's call was irritating. For once and for all, I wanted to tell her that I wont die easily and I know how to take care of myself. Im not dumb and I know my body and time better than you.

I enjoyed taking train ride although it was a long journey but we got to see something that we don’t really see everyday, more outskirts, houses beside the rail track, hills and etc.

That hall was full with people but I could get a seat eventually. One thing I was confused was I supposed to attend a briefing on Final Year Project 2006 but it turned out to be a briefing on Industrial Training for students who are going next term. It was fine. I did get some tips from that.

11 May 2006

I happened to bounce with old uni schoolmate at the computer shop, got some time to chat a bit. I was eventually hurry to get back home to pay rental…haha. When I was there, net was fixed, all clear and done. I spent twice of 10 minutes talking to the TM technical assistant, 5 minutes for went thru the introduction part...press 1 for malay, press 2 for english.... I eventually talked quite many lines with my landlady…hahahaha, must be because my hurry mode still in me and just feel aware and wants to talk.

The piano looks antique. Now I realized that the keys were quite yellowish, very light and small. I must have trained a lot with my new piano, I must have quite strong fingers already. It sounds old, feels like an antique from the ship wrecked.

I fascinated with the combination of the sound of japanese guitar...oh, I dont know what is it call but I know how it looks.

I havent seen my photography mentor for a long time already, wondering if he is already back from Korea with his newly-wed wife...hehe.

5th May 2006

I wasn’t feel quite good when getting up because I slept before getting my work done..:D

If you want to be a student, you need to be a smart one. If you want to cheat, you need to know how the way to do it. Some lecturer you just cant beat them, they are even smarter than you. Why not try understand your lecturer first you try to cheat? :D

Yes, there was a stupid man who has the same tutorial section with me. When he just arrived, he asked me whether he can just put his name for the project. Luckily I wasn’t going to be mad at once but eventually I let him put his name after all I know that he wont be getting anything. Im sorry to say that, he doesn’t know well about lpWong. LPWong wont even believe that he would do anything and lpwong knows his students well. Ok, so he took the trouble to go back to his home and reprinted the cover page, fine! Then he asked me whether if he needs to put his name before the coding. Ouch! I have already submitted the coding with my name patent on it. I wonder what would happen if he is the one going to submit the documentation personally to lpwong. He is going to be screwed up in his office at once. Yes, I submitted the documentation personally to lpwong. First question he asked about that guy. Calming , directly and spontaneously I answered that he didn’t contribute anything, that’s about it!

3 May 2006

I had 7 hours which I have felt quite long and nice sleep. When I woke up, it was already 2pm and there was some slight thunder.

4th May 2006.

Since that day I slept at 7am, I have keep the same procedure for several days already. I woke up today again at 2pm, feel quite light and calm even though I know that I need to submit C++ project tomorrow and I just started doing it yesterday. I felt totally different, no anxious or anything even that shitty groupmate came buzzing me when I just came online, saying that this shitty groupmate has caused me to get 25/30 for the SE project, I eventually laughed because she know nothing behind it. I couldn’t get myself so mad like the other day, no intention of fighting instead, giving some advices to her to change herself. Im spiritual today :D. Somehow I discovered many things about me this week, feeling getting better and better, feeling like upgraded one level, feeling calm and cool ;) :P

2 May 2006

1st May

I started my ASP Fund on Saturday night after got Window Installer CD to install IIS. It was stuck a bit on Saturday, keep getting some weird error types. I followed my friend to meet her ASP Guru and the best advice that all I got was checked my IIS username and after that everything started to be working well. Within 6 hours later it was done.

Fall asleep around 7am. I liked it when the birds started to chirp around 6 something in the morning. My friend sent me an sms when I was sleeping. Well I did reply to her instantly. I thought of earlier since I had done with the system and sent her an sms but soon I had forgotten because I was tired. I woke up at 2pm, feeling calm but soon started to feel tired again and so went back to sleep after awake for 1.5 hours and I woke up just in time when my friends arrived at my door. I was still feeling tired but not totally tired. It was a different feeling.