1 sept 2006

There were only 3 people came for the last session of yoga and even not many came for the previous session. People tend to ask me why am I doing here, that I should go back to my hometown instead. It is the holiday and everyone is fleeing. I liked it that when the yoga class contains less people that we would get some more privilege on getting more knowledge about how to do it correctly. He explained how to breathe correctly, the importance of breathing, thorax, lungs and diaphragm. Yoga is not about posing, it eventually involves larger than that : the science of the body, the mind of calmness, the spirit of indulging and the awareness of one. After the class ended, I have a thought that it can improve my walking style as well. If you notice, some people tend to walk with the feet pointing outwards a bit. However, as for me when I was walking back home after that, my feet started to align pointing straight and it felt much more better than feet pointing outwards.

I stayed back for a little longer after aikido, watching the senior practice for their upcoming grading next weekend. Then, these 2 beginners like me wanted to improve their rolling and I continued to watch. Im not trying to say that Im hopelessly so good but I have realized something. Those girls need to have awareness about their body and need a bit strength on feeling their body too. One of the girl has a heavy body and didn’t have much strength. When I would paired up with her, I would always feel a bit difficulty to move her hand. It was like on some level when I might crush her hand or her hand crush my head. Or I don’t know. Yep, I think improving ones posture first for it would be good, self-esteem and confident, pretty much essential for this. If you don’t have self-esteem, you might look and feel a bit weak and try to look up instead of looking down to the floor. Oh well, She is progressing well.

To get along with someone, when we are not on the same level, I think we should try to think like them and have the same level of conversation that match with them. My talking sometimes can be out, difficult to understand, weird, funny, a bit philosophical or perhaps…people might don’t get me or maybe I just didn’t know her well. This young girl aged maybe 18 from aikido when I paired up with her. She would comment about anything like err…school teenager when a teacher calls a teenager to do something, she/he would whine a bit, teased a bit about it adds a little bit of sarcasm or whatever it is. While we were doing the techniques, she told me that aikido looks like dancing, maybe tango, everyday does the same thing and she proudly to say that she cannot remember the technique moves every week and even names and etc. She has some kind of "fight-back" attitude or being stubborn, maybe thinking that she is good. Oh well…somehow I think if a person has a 'fight-back' attitude instead of really listen and learn, it is difficult for that person to move further ahead.

Oh well, Im still learning, not totally good and this is what I have seen. Stubbornness limits your pot ential

Look at my ym list, you know it is holiday when it is almost empty…haha. Keowteow lady was happy to see me yesterday. It was like a surprise visit. I arrived there at 9pm++ and rice has finished, damn! She said to me that She hasn’t see me for a long time and asked if I have gone back home. I was always wondering what did she actually mean with that 'home'…haha

1 sept 2006

There were only 3 people came for the last session of yoga and even not many came for the previous session. People tend to ask me why am I doing here, that I should go back to my hometown instead. It is the holiday and everyone is fleeing. I liked it that when the yoga class contains less people that we would get some more privilege on getting more knowledge about how to do it correctly. He explained how to breathe correctly, the importance of breathing, thorax, lungs and diaphragm. Yoga is not about posing, it eventually involves larger than that : the science of the body, the mind of calmness, the spirit of indulging and the awareness of one. After the class ended, I have a thought that it can improve my walking style as well. If you notice, some people tend to walk with the feet pointing outwards a bit. However, as for me when I was walking back home after that, my feet started to align pointing straight and it felt much more better than feet pointing outwards.

I stayed back for a little longer after aikido, watching the senior practice for their upcoming grading next weekend. Then, these 2 beginners like me wanted to improve their rolling and I continued to watch. Im not trying to say that Im hopelessly so good but I have realized something. Those girls need to have awareness about their body and need a bit strength on feeling their body too. One of the girl has a heavy body and didn’t have much strength. When I would paired up with her, I would always feel a bit difficulty to move her hand. It was like on some level when I might crush her hand or her hand crush my head. Or I don’t know. Yep, I think improving ones posture first for it would be good, self-esteem and confident, pretty much essential for this. If you don’t have self-esteem, you might look and feel a bit weak and try to look up instead of looking down to the floor. Oh well, She is progressing well.

To get along with someone, when we are not on the same level, I think we should try to think like them and have the same level of conversation that match with them. My talking sometimes can be out, difficult to understand, weird, funny, a bit philosophical or perhaps…people might don’t get me or maybe I just didn’t know her well. This young girl aged maybe 18 from aikido when I paired up with her. She would comment about anything like err…school teenager when a teacher calls a teenager to do something, she/he would whine a bit, teased a bit about it adds a little bit of sarcasm or whatever it is. While we were doing the techniques, she told me that aikido looks like dancing, maybe tango, everyday does the same thing and she proudly to say that she cannot remember the technique moves every week and even names and etc. She has some kind of "fight-back" attitude or being stubborn, maybe thinking that she is good. Oh well…somehow I think if a person has a 'fight-back' attitude instead of really listen and learn, it is difficult for that person to move further ahead.

Oh well, Im still learning, not totally good and this is what I have seen. Stubbornness limits your pot ential

Look at my ym list, you know it is holiday when it is almost empty…haha. Keowteow lady was happy to see me yesterday. It was like a surprise visit. I arrived there at 9pm++ and rice has finished, damn! She said to me that She hasn’t see me for a long time and asked if I have gone back home. I was always wondering what did she actually mean with that 'home'…haha

You entered: Goh Ji Lin

There are 8 letters in your name.

Those 8 letters total to 48

There are 3 vowels and 5 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 3

The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.

The expression or destiny for #3:

An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.

The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Soul Urge number is: 6

A Soul Urge number of 6 means:

With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you a able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times.

The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings.

If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be over done, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:

You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

For some student, it is gonna be a long holiday weekend. Tomorrow is Malaysia's 49th National Independence Day. I always not sure if I want to go back to my hometown or not. But then, most of the time I would flee just like that, unexpected. Yes, Im thinking should I or not. Im running low in cash. I feel quite tired today. Honestly, I overslept today and missed my 8am class.  For few days, I didn’t hear my alarm rang in the morning. No feeling bad. Things happened.

It was a drizzling day. Nice weather. German Lehrer disappeared, he must be caught in the traffic jam when coming to MLK from KL. It is the eve of national day, so roadbloack and parties going on everywhere.

Ok, Im not having any summer vacation, no summer, no vacation. Try to remember some details next time. Make sure you choose the right nickname that you want to chat with. And make sure you don’t slip any nasty or censor comments to the wrong window. Our education system is different from else where. I have 3 school terms per year. 3 OK. And the school term is going on at the moment. I will be having my school holiday on October…yes, October for 3 weeks. Only 3 weeks and not 3 months.

Im having some frequent urination during day for past few days. Detoxication working…wahaha.

28 Aug 2006

   A sword can last a short time, but the warrior has to last a long time. That is why he must not let himself be fooled by his own capacity and so be taken by surprise. To each thing he gives the true value that it deserves.

    & nbsp; Often, when he is faced with serious matters, the devil whispers in his ear: "Do not bother about that, that’s not serious."

    & nbsp;Other times, when he is faced with trivial matters, the devil whispers: "You need to spend all your energy on solving this situation.”

    & nbsp;The warrior does not listen to what the devil is saying. He is the master of his sword.

Pay attention to your allies

    & nbsp;A warrior does not associate with anyone who wishes him harm. Nor is he seen in the company of those who want to "console" him.

    & nbsp; He avoids whoever is only at his side in moments of defeat. These false friends want to prove that weakness has its rewards. They always bear bad news. They always try to destroy the warrior’s trust, under the disguise of "solidarity".

    & nbsp; When they see him injured they break into tears, but deep in their hearts they are happy because the warrior has lost a battle. They fail to understand that this is a part of combat.

    & nbsp; A warrior’s true companions are at his side at each and every moment, in times both difficult and easy.

Negotiating with the enemy

    & nbsp;When the moment of combat draws near, the Warrior of Light is prepared for any circumstance. He analyzes each possibility and asks himself: "What would I do if I had to fight against myself?"

    & nbsp;This is how he discovers his weak points.

    & nbsp; At this moment the adversary approaches, carrying a bag filled with promises, agreements and negotiations. He has tempting proposals and easy alternatives to offer.

    & nbsp; The warrior analyzes each of these proposals; he also seeks an agreement, but without losing his dignity. If he avoids combat, it is not because he was seduced – but rather because he decided that this was the best strategy.

    & nbsp; A Warrior of Light does not accept presents from the enemy.

On the defense and on the attack

    & nbsp;The warrior is careful with people who think they can control the world, determine their own steps, and are certain that they know the right path. They are always so confident in their own capacity of decision that they do not realize the irony with which fate writes everyone’s life.

    & nbsp; The Warrior of Light has dreams. His dreams carry him forward. But he never commits the mistake of thinking that the road is easy and the door wide.

    & nbsp; He knows that the Universe works like alchemy: solve et coagula, say the masters. ”Concentrate and disperse your energy according to the situation.”

    & nbsp;There are moments to act and moments to accept.

In the face of defeat

    & nbsp;The Warrior of Light knows how to lose. He does not hold defeat as something indifferent, using phrases like "well, it wasn’t all that important", or "to tell the truth, I did not really want that".

    & nbsp; He accepts defeat as a defeat; he does not try to change it into a victory or an experience. He suffers the pain of his wounds, the indifference of his friends and the loneliness of loss. At such moments he says to himself: "I fought for something, and I failed to get it. I lost the first battle.”

    & nbsp;This phrase will give him strength. He is aware that nobody wins all the time – but the courageous always win in the end.

*extracted from my mailbox

27 aug 2006

Somehow I think when my mum is now at this age, she could be more relaxed a little bit. I eventually think that it would be good for her if she joins yoga, qigong or tai chi. We live with less courage. I know that she likes all that stuffs but she doesn’t have that enough courage to put herself into it. But I guess, if she steps out from the box…I think she can feel more aware about things and bring more new energy to the home.

And somehow I think, all those teachings by Buddha and etc…including tai chi, qigong and etc All of them were originated from asian counterpart. So, asian has lot more to offer in terms spirituality as many people have started to take interested with it including the west people or I don’t know. Hmm…I guess west, they didn’t have much things as they intended to monopoly what the asian parts had, history back then. To get whatever they could and sell it as their own.

And some people think that being open-minded is to have western thinking…Im not sure if it is right to say like that. If you can talk about sex openly that’s make you an open-minded or having a western thinking? Or by just that? I don’t think so. Don’t try to be westernize. You can be open-minded and in the same time preserved your own identity. More better, just don’t try to be anything else than you.

Pandora Internet Radio created by Music Genome Project

Pandora

Spritualized - I Didnt Mean to Hurt You

Album : Let it Come Down

I love you

Like I love the sunrise in the morning

I miss you

Like I miss the water when I’m burning

I didn’t mean to hurt you, dear

The words just came out wrong

Now I’m broken down and lonely

And I’m so cold at night...

Travis

Album : 12 Memories

1. Love Will Come Through

2. The Beautiful Occupation

3. Somewhere Else

Frameshift

Album : Unweaving the Rainbow

1. River Out of Eden

2. Walking Through Genetic Space

3. Your Eyes

4. Bats

5. Nice Guys Finish First

Filter

Album : Title of Record

1. Take a Picture

2. Best Things

Album : Short Bus

1. Hey Man Nice Shot

2. One is The Loneliest Number

3. Jurassitol

Album : Amalgamut

1. The Only Way is the Wrong Way

2. Where Do We Go From Here

It was funny where my highschool friend who I have him in my ym contact list and chatted for only a few times and then havent been talking with each other for some time long. Recently, without saying hi or any introduction, he just jumped into his main topic, asking me about that pop diva Siti about her marriage with Datuk K....hahaha. I didnt know he is a big fan of her.

It is hot like shit and I can smell some burning, who is doing open burning now? Damn people, it is already hot. Yea, my room is like oven or sauna. You get to do some detox from sweating, so it is actually healthy for you. My eyes feel so tight and sensitive to light and the hot weather just make me feel uncomfortable.

Yes, I am calm, not panic. I have no good reason for that when I have already known that I cant do anything to rephrase the time back or being pissed with myself that I should have gone to bed earlier. All I need to do is face the fact and go along with it.

I came back home at 12noon, after my 10am class. As long as I was on the run and have someone to talk to, It would keep me fresh. The clock was ticking and ting, a new time record had just set. Since, I decided to go along with it, why not see if I can break my previous staying alert record. 24 hours recorded and clock still ticking. I could have gone to sleep right after that, still hanging around on net a bit, got some new emails from aikido, thinking and hoping that it is some good news that the training will be cancelled for today...haha but no!

After 25 hours, I got to roll on my bed. It was the best feeling of all. I laughed....hahaha maniacly that I got to sleep at the end. Clearly, I decided I have to ditch my 2pm class to reserve some energy for something else, aikido perhaps. I slept at 1.30pm and woke up at 3.30am. Wow, it was so hot and hungry a bit.

At German class, I was good at the beginning. After 1.5 hours later, I started to have some difficulties. I felt weak, my head started to spin a bit and I couldnt concentrate more. Breathe! thinking if I choose to go back home and sleep or go for aikido.

After class, I walked all the way to nightmarket and get my dinner, bounced with my yoga instructor again. I met him at monday's night market too. So, it looked like that Im going for aikido. No time to sit, changed attired and left to school again. I like the aikido instructor the fact that he has so much power, strength, passion, precise and you wont get lost. At the end of the day Im happy, enjoy the class and Im still intact

Why cant solve any issue earlier and quickly? I know if things havent sort out, no one is going to have a peaceful sleep, at least for me.

I still look great despite the puffy eyebags. I did cried for sometime, not too much and not too long. I was just scare, sad and wonder. If you shift your sleeping time maybe 6 hours later from the usual, get up and start the late day although it is a new day for you, you can see the differences between night and day, refresh, energize, tired and so on. But if you dont sleep at all, stay in and up for the night and still up for the day, you will eventually feel lost. Lost of differentiate of what is day and night and all those scientists have done their researchs and your body facts are coming to the fore. You can feel, You experience it.

First time ever, I was still alive after 7am. I wasnt sure if I would want to ditch my classes or go for it. Spent about 5 minutes to motivate myself and run my engine. The feeling of weird invaded. I havent even roll on my bed, I havent even rest my mind and body and now I have to get dress again for school. I put on my aromatherapy oil too much but still couldnt last. Yea, I need it to calm myself...hehe. I had 2 biscuits and some rosemary herbs. Yep, a few times, when I was new with the watertherapy thingy, I couldnt stand the feeling of weakness and hunger right after waking up and so I ate some rosemary herbs to give some flavour in myself.

All those body facts started to scatter in my mind on my way to school. I havent rest my body yet. There arent any cells or tissue reproduce or repair. I cant do my watertherapy thingy. It is like I have been so busy with my development that I have no time to rest. Laughing a bit with myself all the way to school and wondered if I did wear any panties, if my shirt is in the correct direction, if I did zip up my pants and if I still have my senses.

I survived the first hour class with wrecking. I arrived at there 20 minutes later, sat there and just looked around for starter. Everyweek, I really couldnt understand what is he teaching about. For sudden, I feel as if I was an immortal from outerspace who just sent over to the Earth and placed in 4 walls room with a bunch of people who claimed themselves as students and not forgetting wondering about what is day...I can see the sun for the first time. Eureka! Later on, I started to wreck. There was one time where the attendance sheet arrived to me. I saw my name, signed it and then total blackout for few seconds. When I got back my senses and realized that I still holding the attendance sheet. I eventually started to look for my name again to sign. Oh, I had already signed it....oops!

So, thats about it...I am not actually proud of this or myself for doing this. For some people, they would say that I am going crazy or I am going to jeapordize my health. Well, try to look at some other view....Im doing this to test myself and to see things. If not, I probably would be sleeping by now

Do you know what happened after I switched from the pink jack to the blue jack?

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soundMax warned that I have plugged the mic to the wrong color jack. But before I could do anything, blue screen arrived - problem encountered : ati2dvag. Ok, restart the pc and everything will be fine again. Hell no! Ethernet wasnt working properly and tried to renew the ip, all jammed. Ok, restart again and everything will be fine again. Hell no! It looked like the same as before. Restarted again and again and again. Ok, I decided to let it just be and I need some sleep. I didnt have credit to call from my phone. I couldnt send any message to whom it may concerned or even shout for help. So, I went to bed.

I may be a bit worried about it. I think I did some teeth grinding at night and got some kind of dream similar to that situation. I tried again after I woke up. This time, it couldnt start-up properly and I had to click on whatever it is applicable. Yea, system restore and could start-up properly again. phew! but still ethernet is not functioning correctly.

20 Aug 2006

I was doing some research on music theory. I read in this forum from the official ABRSM site to get to know what are those players been up to. A forum for teacher, parents and student.  I started to wonder a bit. I never had a male music teacher at all. Well, actually I did have, when I was in primary school, most music teachers are male. The actual was that I never had a male piano teacher or maybe I have never come across any male piano teacher at all. What a pity! Teaching style might be vary by gender. The teaching, emphasis, motivation, lesson and etc might be different. I never buy any appreciation gift for my piano teacher. That’s bad! After reading from that forum, I realised that many parents are helping a lot and being as much supportive in their children's music lessons. I couldn’t say much more, what really went wrong for my music education.

ABRSM forum

Ok, supposed to look for some site of online music theory as references and sample and bounced with this site from berklee music college, some kind of tutorial site. Oh, I Like it. I enjoyed watching the video for DJ and Turntable ;). Take a look...

berklee shares

Online streaming radio that I like recently, havent been listening to it for some time already. It is nice to listen especially at night.

Dream Radio

19 aug 2006

I had a dream where there were 2 buildings, a mall and opposite it was an eating restaurant near the seaside. It was raining outside and dark. It was an angry dream. Because my mum came to me at the mall area and told me that main ditch wanted a glass of water. I was mad with her because she ordered my mum to do some work for her and it was raining outside, slippery road and dark. I took the glass of water and went over to the eating restaurant and found her there. She said that she didn’t want a glass of water, she wanted something else. I was really mad with her. I just passed the glass to her and went off from the place. For real, I met here in front of the business faculty building with her boyfriend. When I looked at her, I felt some anger towards her as I tried to differentiate what's dream and presence.

Students love to talk before a test or doing anything. I wonder is it advisable for that. It is like a gathering of friends outside the exam hall. They talk and talk as if they havent seen each other for a long time. And I was standing there, more crowded, more chatters, more hot. Stop talking people! You are warming up the whole area.

In yoga place, yes when more people more hot. The hot weather is also part of the factor. But the more people you have, the more heat and energy release out and thus making the whole place feeling more warm.

I was surprised and maybe pleased to see that bushes at the field has been cleared off today. No more weird people hiding in the bushes again. I wonder what are they planning to do with it. Building a playground or park? I think that’s better than building more shoplots.

Hmm, trying to trace how mum tries to persuade me for not following my friends to Pangkor which scheduled 2 weeks in time or 3 weeks. She gives some reason. For example, "you have been to Pangkor before, you still want to go?" -  I have been to many same places for more than once, why you didn’t stop me earlier? "There is haze" - hmm, I know, they are haze in KL too and you still have to go to work.

Have a nice weekend!

18 aug 2006

A weird dream. My family, me and Iga went for a vacation to this place. The place was in havoc, murders, weird things happen, war and etc. All the tourists were staying in a big hall. We were broken down into 2 groups. Me and Iga were trying to reunite with my family again after the havoc evacuation happened. I found them at last and iga was still stuck at behind. Weird thing was we still can go for some sightseeing. My dad has booked the van for disneyland and we were going the next day morning and then after we were going to leave this place for good. But iga had not arrived here. I was worried. The next morning, he had not appeared yet. The van was already arrived. Everyone couldn’t wait for long and so I stayed back in that big hall, waiting for him to arrive as the others proceeded with the sight seeing. When they arrived back, Iga still had not arrived yet. I was actually intended to go for search for him. Our van was here again for the pickup to the airport. This place was so terrible to go on. Everyone was leaving soon enough. But it was dangerous for him to go to search for him. At last, he made it and I was happy to see him. He was stuck out there for some time. All packed and jammed. We were in time to leave to the airport.

I felt a few seconds of lucid, I think so. I went back to sleep again after came back from class, slept from 9.30am - 4pm…oh my! And I dreamt again. It feels like I was dreaming throughout the whole sleeping process.

17 Aug 2006

I almost could doze off in front of my pc and luckily didn’t drop from my chair…haha. Iga was tired too but he had something going on. It was interesting for me and at the same time, I was swirling too. I tried to hold back as much as I can. It was impolite to doze off when someone was in the middle of something. I did that once back then and try to avoid that in the future but as long as I look cute in swirling, that would be just fine :P.

1.5 hours, I woke up and get ready for school. Totally wasted. You might guess it right, I was trying hard to stay alert in the class although I did understood something from the teaching. Luckily, for OOP lab, it finished like in 30 minutes.

Oh yes, this time I got her, I found her. The one that I wanted to meet for fyp. She seemed nice but unfortunately, she might be leaving at the end of the semester. The first thing she asked me if I do posses any musical background and what Grade do I have. I read the requirement and suggestion for the title. I didn’t know she included an additional requirement where at least 2 members must posses a minimum of Grade 3 -5 in ABRSM Theory examination. Well, hmm…this might be interesting.

16 Aug 2006

So, the semester…no, I mean the holiday has ended and it feels as if though new semester just started. I just didn’t know what to do, a feeling of laziness of going to school but still go, trying hard to open some book. Java midterm falls on this Saturday and I havent study yet. I have been wondering why am I not so busy for this term. I don’t have assignment to do…damn…hah a. I had some slight flu and down with sadness. A feeling of sadness when I have something to think about myself. Illogical issue again…hmmm. I need to do more research on that. I read a psychology textbook today and this writer or some scientist divided a group of people to 2 with the classification Rational behaviour and Irrational behaviour. Rational makes decision based on facts and Irrational makes decision based on intuition. Either one of those will be dominant. And some scientist said that thinking can be learned or improved. It is a skill.

I went for yoga yesterday for the first time after the holiday. Oh, It felt as if I havent been going for yoga for a long time. Once, if I have a break for few days or even longer. I just feel that Im losing some power.

I just checked out this new club in my school with my friend. And oh my! I just got a hit. Have I been sleeping or blind all this while? There are so many interesting things can be done and why I didn’t even have the courage to really go for it back then. Why would I have the thought that I might not even have time for it? How can I be an Introvert for that long? I know that I would like to try them. And I have like it already even I have never try it.

Honestly, I have some sense about myself that I can do it or just do it, I have the courage. Im getting better on that day by day. I guess this is how it all started. One fine day, I had conquered the highest mountain in South East Asia and that must be the highest achievement in my life. Who have ever thought that a petite girl like me can go for climbing? And after that, I tried a few new things like riding on a Jet-Ski, Para-Sailing and some solo breakthrough program…hehe haha. That pretty much open up my mind, views and beliefs.

And today, after I had visited the booth for the new established club, WaterSports, I just feel that I have been missing from the scene for some time already. This is the best time to enroll and try all extreme stuffs. That’s it the school years. Enrolling myself for yoga and aikido are just a small steps to the evolution. And I started to think that I don’t have much time left to try all that while I still can.

The blind man and Everest

    & nbsp; Little by little we seem to grow used to the same metaphors for life. Some time ago I wrote in this column the “Manual for climbing mountains”, and out of the blue I meet a reader in Hamburg who decides to share his experience with me about climbing in life. He discovered what hotel I am in, and has some criticism to make of my page in the Internet. After making some harsh comments, he asks:

    & nbsp;“Do you mind if I take a photo with my girlfriend?”

    & nbsp;Of course I don’t. He picks up his cellular, presses a button, says nothing, and his girlfriend turns up a minute later.

    & nbsp; After the photo is taken comes the next question, this one more intriguing:

    & nbsp;“Can a blind man climb Mount Everest?”

    & nbsp;“I don’t think so,” I answer.

    & nbsp;“Why don’t you answer ‘perhaps’?&rd quo;

    & nbsp;I am almost certain that I am in the company of a “compulsive optimist.” One thing is the whole universe conspiring for our dreams to become true, quite another is to place yourself in front of absolutely unnecessary challenges, which can lead to death or unpredictable failure.

    & nbsp;I explain that I have to leave for an appointment, but the reader does not give up.

    & nbsp;“The blind can climb Everest, the highest mountain in the world (8,848 meters). Not only can they do it, but I happen to know of at least one blind person who did it. His name is Erik Weihenmayer. Can your appointment wait?”

    & nbsp;Since he gave me a name, there could an interesting story here. My appointment can wait, of course.

    & nbsp;“In 2001, Weihenmayer managed the feat. Meanwhile, people complain that they cannot afford a better car, more elegant clothes, and a salary that matches their abilities.”

    & nbsp;“Are you sure?”

    & nbsp;“Look it up in the Internet. But what fascinates me is that Weihenmayer knew exactly what he wanted: he changed his life into what he thought it should be. He had the courage to risk everything to have the universe conspire in his favor.”

    & nbsp;I agree. The reader goes on, as if my attitude is no longer of any interest to him:

    & nbsp;“If you know what you want in life, then you have all you need to manage to make your dream come true. Didn’t you yourself say that?”

    & nbsp;Of course. But there are limits, such as blind people climbing the highest mountain on earth.

    & nbsp;“And if people have no dreams, what are they supposed to do?”

    & nbsp;“Think about something that they would like to be doing, and then take the first step,” I answer. “Without being afraid of making a mistake. Without fear of offending those who ‘worry’ about their behavior.”

    & nbsp;“That’s it!” said the reader, for the first time identifying my ideas clearly. “So we realize that to reach what we want we have to run risks. Don’t you say that in your books?”

    & nbsp;Not only do I say it, but I also try to keep my word. But we are interrupted in our conversation; it is time for the appointment that has brought me to Hamburg. I thank him for his attention, ask him to send me suggestions for my page on the Internet, we take another picture and then say goodbye.

    & nbsp; At three o’clock in the morning, returning from that event, I reach into my pocket for the key to my room and discover the piece of paper where he had jotted down the blind man’s name. Even knowing that I have to travel to Cairo in a couple of hours, I turn on the computer, and there it is:

    & nbsp;“On 25 May 2001, at the age of 32, Erik Weihenmayer became the first blind person to reach the top of the highest mountain in the world. A former high-school teacher, he received the ESPN and IDEA prize for his courage in overcoming the limits that his physical condition permitted. Besides Everest, Erik Weihenmayer has climbed the other seven highest mountains in the world, including Aconcagua in Argentina and Kilimanjaro in Tanzania”.

    & nbsp; If you don’t believe it, look it up.

------------------------- ------------------------- --------------------

Erik Weihenmayer (born 1968) is the first blind person to reach the summit of Mount Everest, on May 25, 2001. He also completed the Seven Summits in September 2002. His story was covered in a Time article in June 2001 titled Blind Faith. He is author of Touch the Top of the World: A Blind Man's Journey to Climb Farther Than the Eye can See, his autobiography.

Erik is an acrobatic skydiver, long distance biker, marathon runner, skier, mountaineer, ice climber, and rock climber. He is a friend of Sabriye Tenberken and Paul Kronenberg, the co-founders of Braille Without Borders, whom he visited in Tibet.

*taken from wikipedia

Shoe shopping :D

badges shopping : 80 cents each

Saturday 5 aug 2006

  On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
  in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out
  of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump
  and shy.. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

  This was the scene ten years ago.

  The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I
  went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
  steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a
  civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at
  the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

  Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more
  likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. 

  Dew came into my life.

  It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
  behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was
  the apartment I bought for her.

  Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her
  words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife
  said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

  Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
  wife.. But I couldn't help doing so.

  I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.?
  I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy,
  because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the
  idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be
  something impossible to me.

  However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
  how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

  Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
  dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then
  we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer,
  visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

  One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what
  will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
  Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.
  I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was
  serious.

  When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
  staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
  something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She
  gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

  Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
  together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

  When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to
  tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt
  in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to
  let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious
  topic calmly.

  She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
  why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her
  angry.. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a
  man!

  That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
  wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
  give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

  With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
  that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
  glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.
  The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger
  one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

  Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to
  see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
  which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

  Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw
  her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
  found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

  She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me,
  but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in
  the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason
  was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and
  she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

  She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
  you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This
  question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I
  nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued,
  so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the
  day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me
  out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

  I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to
  end her marriage romantically.

  I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
  thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
  the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made
  me feel uncomfortable.

  My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
  explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
  carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
  clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought
  me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
  door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
  and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded,
  feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait
  for a bus, I drove to the office.

  On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
  chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
  realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long
  time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles
  on her face.

  On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
  demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

  On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
  still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
  visualization of Dew became vague.

  On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
  where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.
  I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew
  about this.

  I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
  stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was
  picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a
  few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses
  have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because
  she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was
  stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I
  felt a sense of pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her
  head.

  Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said.
  To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential
  part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him
  tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at
  the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through
  the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
  naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding
  day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

  On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
  Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in
  your arms until we are old.

  I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life
  lacked intimacy.

  I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid
  any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened
  the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

  She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
  fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can
  only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
  probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because
  we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried
  her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her
  until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

  Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
  the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the
  office.

  When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife
  which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.
  I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

* extracted from my mailbox

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
 
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
 
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking

There are many things that you can do to strengthen your relationships. Often the most effective thing you can do involves saying just three words. When spoken sincerely, these statements often have the power to develop new friendships, deepen old ones and even bring healing to relationships that have soured.

The following three-word phrases can be tools to help develop every relationship.

1.    Let me help
Good friends see a need and then try to fill it. When they see a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they jump in and help out.

2.  I understand you
People become closer and enjoy each other more when the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know - in so many  little ways - that you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. And this can apply to any relationship.

3.  I respect you
Respect is another way of showing love. Respect demonstrates that another person is a true equal.  If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become closer friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

4.  I miss you
Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you."  This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.  Consider how important you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."

5.  Maybe you're right
This phrase is very effective in diffusing an argument.  The implication when you say "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting, "maybe  I'm wrong".  Let's face it. When you have an argument with someone,  all you normally do is solidify the other person's point of view. They, or you, will not likely change their position and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you.  Saying "maybe you're right" can open the door to explore the subject more.  You may then have the opportunity to express your view in a way that is understandable to the other person.

6. Please forgive me
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
 
7.   I thank you
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose
circle of  friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.
 
8.  Count on me
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship.  It is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "you can count on me."
 
9.   I'll be there
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "I'll be there." Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.
 
10.  Go for it
We are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Su