You as a woman:

• You are magnetic, proud and totally confident. You are a strong woman, and hate to flutter your eyelashes and look pretty. You can be overbearing and domineering, sarcastic and frigid. You look for ambition in a man, and you cannot excuse his weakness. You are fiercely possessive of your man. If he does not commit, you chase him, till you can get a positive answer.

• You hate being possessed. You are also very stubborn. You refuse to see any viewpoint but your own when emotions are involved. Your passion for living can be all-consuming, yet in a real storm, your cool, calm reason and steely strength will be a life raft.

Your Love Sign:

• There is an irresistible magnetic quality surrounding you, a "come-chase-me" attitude which is most alluring. When this works, your passions are unleashed with hurricane force. If you let bouts of jealousy creep in, it may lead to an unwelcome result. You might steer clear of a relationship since it is a clash of wills, but a clever lover is someone who can dispel these notions to bring out the best in you.

You in Relationships:

• You like to be in charge, and you convey it right from the start. This can make for an interesting and dynamic relationship. You are clear you want the absolute best where romance is concerned. Any relationship, which gives you a sense of power, wins hands down. You have a steely determination and a strong sense of what you really want. You are quick in finding the right lover, and this makes life very easy for you. As long as you win, there is harmony in the relationship.

One must Know the rules when dealing with Scorpio

What you should do:

• Dress up and look good for the Scorpio. The Scorpion appreciates beauty and sex appeal.
• Have a no-holds-barred approach. The Scorpio will delve into your secrets, anyway.
• Don't hold on. A relationship with the Scorpio is an exciting journey of discovery, so go along!
• Be comfortable with the Scorpio gaze. Squirming will not help!
• Share everything with your Scorpio. This will make for a highly fulfilling relationship.

What you should not do:

• Don't ever accuse the Scorpio of playing with your emotions. The Scorpio promise of fidelity is as good as gold.
• The green-eyed monster is the most dangerous part of your relationship. Try and keep jealousy at bay.
• You need to take lessons in handling your emotions with a Scorpio. Try not to contribute to the emotional fireworks in the relationship.
• Don't have a narrow mind. With the Scorpio, you must be prepared for anything.
• Don't ever keep secrets from the Scorpio.

Beautiful You:

• Do you find people giving you a second look all the time? Well, they should, for yours is the sign of the slinky seductress! No other sign has your mystique, so take pride in it. You are intense, amorous, passionate, and in equal measures, secretive.

• You take refuge in your sensuality, and this works very well for you. An electric sexual energy is almost second nature to you. But there is a soft side, which you prefer to guard. You don't go for the musky perfumes as much as you do sweeter essences like vanilla or spicy fragrances like cinnamon. You love a makeover, don't you? That is why you don't hesitate a bit to try on the new purple wig, or those long eyelashes.

• Your secret of beauty is your subtle charm. There is an ulterior motive to possess behind every move. You are at your most beautiful when you use your sly charm, letting the world in on the biggest Scorpio secret of all: how good it feels to be you.

Careers and you:

• Intense and passionate, you know how to live life to the fullest, and as a result, don't suffer fools gladly. You know how to zero in on important tasks, and where the art of the deal is concerned, can go for the kill. Rarely, however, will blood be spilled. You are a straight shooter with lofty and important goals. Everyone else falls by the wayside. One of the your greatest assets is the ability to effect change, if only by sheer will. It's when this virtue spills over into impatience that the trouble begins. You love to create, solve and manage -- both the good and the bad. It's all for a reason. You also like to win. As long as you can control your aggressive, vindictive and inflexible tendencies (and the need to control in general), much can be accomplished.

Here are some occupations that a Scorpio might consider:

• Analyst
• Criminologist
• Detective
• Doctor
• Enforcer
• Hypnotist
• Insurance agent
• Investigator
• Lab technician
• Private investigator
• Psychiatrist
• Psychologist
• Researcher
• Scientist

Money and you:

• You are, in a word, wise where money is concerned. You are self-made, although a surprising number of you inherit wealth. It's easy to see that you desperately crave for money. Money buys you security, freedom, and, best of all, control. An unshakable conviction that you will come out on top where finances are concerned motivates you to work harder, no matter how long or how tough. You are more than willing to make sacrifices for the grand prize. If there are reversals, you will generally suffer them well, thanks to your quiet confidence. When the going is good, though, you will remember your friends with uncommon generosity and are quick to support favourite charities. In the end, you far prefer to accumulate money rather than spend it. And you hate wasting it! Even so, there are times when nothing less than a Ming vase will do. Go figure!

visit the blog : Carlo Mollino - arabeschi at GAM

Ok, so I went for a nap at 2.30pm, finally. Uhm! At 4pm I received a surprise call, well 2 minutes before 4pm. Firstly I thought it was my mum but the number shown was starting with 033388xxxx. So I guess must be some wrong number. I answered the call and paused for a seconds to think fast. On the other line was repeating again.

I was sad and when it came clear, I was ready to eat a lot.

So, I managed to finish reading 3 chapters. Oh yea, I have to feed your son with some entertainment! I am happy to see him so alive. You are ALIVE! Haha.

After more than 6 months I was in that site, I was honored that I have been given a post as one of the moderator for the new upcoming site that is due to launch by this Friday. Nevertheless Im still very new with this. But It is definitely nice to help it to grow. URL will be revealed by tomorrow.

I cant remember, I think I slept at 6am and looking for people to wake me up at 9am…haha. My phone was ringing at 8am. Well, not even 8am, 2 minutes to 8am. With my weary eyes and mind, I looked at the phone number and yes it was from somewhere near. I remembered what hasnie had said to me yesterday.She cleverly gave me my number, of course with my permission to that lecturer that we wanted to meet. He will call to make an appointment with us. And my number had given to him just because he is a foreign lecturer and she is afraid if she doesn’t understand what is he gonna yepping in the phone…haha! I probably could have answered the call with a dead, tired voice tone but I happened to be poker for that, having a  good tone voice but I was having trouble to answer his question. He said he is going to be busy after 12 noon and we have OOP presentation at 10am and so he said we can come to meet him anytime now. Now? What?! 8am in the morning? NO way! We had not even sleep properly yet. So, the time was fixed at 9.30am. After the phone call ended, I sent an sms to hasnie. I didn’t know if I did sent to the correct person or not because she said that she didn’t receive any of my first message. Well, I continued to sleep for 30 minutes before wake up for real. I had not prepared anything, read something from wikipedia and zoomed off to school.

For the presentation, I was selected to present it by the lecturer. Ok, so done!

Im hungry, tired, dizzy and sleepy…zzzz!

Ok, so I saw 2 persons status with an expression of showing dissatisfactory to MMU

27 Sept 2006

Looking at the pic below, I have realised something. The wave isnt that big. I saw what is big, rough wave 2 weeks ago. And when I looked at the pic, I must be silly to be afraid when I was in there. Well, cant blame that because I have not been to the sea for some time and dipped myself over my belly in the seawater was also ages ago. Feeling a bit uncomfortable? Why? I cant see a shit down there. I wouldn’t know what would I be stepping. I just didn’t want to get myself hurt. Ok, so I kept worrying from getting myself hurt.

I am sad with a bit of not in the mood of doing anything.

………& hellip;……&h ellip;.

edited this pic last weekend, well only changed the hue color because the original totally looked dark. I like the reflection from the water and the tone color of the mountains.

26 sept 2006

Yea yea, she just came back to mlk and already knocked at my monitor, asking about ANOVA formulas.

On the other hand my other groupmate was complaining to me about how ugly is the interface for our system. The other groupmate has changed everything by himself without our concern. I cant run the Applet and I called him to printscreen and let me the interface. And the fact that we have a presentation for the system this Thursday. And he is not satisfied with him. And I have heard from the other complaint about him. And I can see that he never like his idea at all when we have group discussion. And yada yada yada, I was stuck in between with males rivalry. I was laughing at one of the interface for Customer Details. One of the field he has there : CUSTOMER SEX =)). Pretty understood that sex is to define the gender. But cant he use gender rather than sex. Which century is he living in? At least not going to spark any confusion on some customer when they would use the system. Imagine! What if the customer would fill the field, customer sex : 3 times per week or yes, will have sex and book the room ...Haha, gonna corrupt the database! Whee!

26 Sept 2006

23 sept 2006

So, I started the day feeling not quite good. The same feeling I got yesterday, a bit sad. Yes, because I know he is going far. See, we are already far but when I know that he is not at home for the weekend, I feel it! That’s far and not about our distances after all. Someday and one day I will get to see him race.

I have started to study today, many hours until I got bored. Mixed feelings I must say, from missing to some anxious, hopefully he is not getting any casualties and bored. But I was feeling much better when it started to rain with thunder…haha, I was cooking in the kitchen. And oh, I feel tired again, mixed feeling crept up again, thinking of death. What If...

so, I wrote and sent an email at 5.30am before I went to bed to make an appointment with my academic advisor. I cant do subjects registration without seeing him first.

Hello and Good Day Sir,
I would like to meet you tomorrow for the Academic
advisory. Is it possible to see you after 2.30pm?
Please inform me some other time if you are not
available at the suggested time. Thank You.

And I got his replied at 1pm :

Dear Student
There was a mistake in the uploaded file
You may check your mark outside of my office, anyway its 7.75 / 15
Sorry for the mistake

How irrelevant is that? hahaha

Well, I still go for a look and that marks 7.75 was belonged to one of his database system student and it is right on top of the list.

22 Sept 2006

I continued the journey of production at 9pm. What hectic was few messages came in almost the same time, asking some serious business stuffs. Never failed to give my feedback because I was getting tired that time and I need to type something relevant to keep me aligned rather than Label lb1 = new Label("Hello"); , getString( ), setText( ) and so on. Not getting myself to have System.out.println("How are you?"); syndrome. I happened to read an article earlier today about music helps in better memory especially good for maths and etc. I wonder if there is any research on music helps in programming. Because I think it works.

My head was already on the table at 2.30am. Oh, I love to sleep and I want to sleep. This 33 year old girl came knocking at my monitor and she wanted to learn from me, the art of how to communicate with her man online and telling me about her fantasies of her many love interests. Please please please focus only one at a time, don’t get your energy spears out and you end up feeling miserable and depress all the time. That’s how she looks like. If she has many experiences on man, I guess she should know by now that there are of course difference between men and women and she told me that she just got to know about that. OK, be it! We are different species. And even if you are talking about general men, there are differences among them. Somehow I find it difficult to help her about understanding her own man when they are in conflict or something because every men don’t have the same thinking. I cant tell her exactly if the guy is acting like that, he must be this and that. No, I cant. Same case goes with my friend too. I cant comment to her on her thinking that if her man is acting like this, my man is acting like this as well and so goes with other men. When she would ask me another question or stuff. I would say at the end it is all depend on the person. Because we are not the same. Uhh, I have been repeating it many times already…haha! I can only give some words on my experiences about myself on the situation. The basic core, they are the same but individually, they are not. The conversation ended by herself, she went silent after that. Continued a bit, sent my updated version of my files to my groupmate and I went to sleep at 5.30am.

President of A. came knocking at my monitor, persuading me to go for Aikido seminar today. Supposing a 3 days seminar but they are only going for today. Yea, rushing and mentally not prepared. I rejected it. Because I have been missing a few trainings, I feel a bit left out and I still have something to do and I told him that I will go next time.

21 Sept 2006

20 Sept 2006

So, I found that I actually like to give comment on people's blog if I have the right mood. It is such a nice thing to share some experience or information. Although, everyone is different but we might experience something what is alike. And yet, no one is the same. I feel like there is nothing goes thru my mind. No hesitation thought and paranoid, still has a bit but it is getting in control when I am in control of my breathing. Focusing on the breathing is the key. Feel a bit lost touch? Probably. I wonder if you like cactus.

And so I actually interested to be in the field where men is the majority. For example, to be a DJ/Turntablist, behind the music scene, sportswoman, chef, navy and etc. It is inspiring. When I was at SG Zoukout, yes I was awed with it and inspired. He asked me if I like it or feel good. Oh yes, I was! Well of course there are some women and I just want to be part of them, to add my name in the women list. Nothing funny about it. I have had this thought for years already. Not thinking of competing with men as people always have this thought of 'if men can do, we can too' Somehow that sounds a challenge to me. And all the women is changing and work their butt off, risking their health. Whats the joy in that? Might as well do it because you are interested with it and not competing.

19 Sept 2006

I just remember that I left 2 weeks before the final exam. At some point that I was a bit regret that I didn’t take Elective subject for this semester. No wonder I am a bit too free. Oh well, out of the norm once in a while. Out of the blue, I started to feel that OOP syllabus is a bit wrong as I didn’t get much of it. I don’t understand it. We have project which needs database connection OBDC OCBD whatever the combination is…no, it is JDBC. It supposed to be taught in the lecture and some other relevant topics like java multimedia, graphics, networking.

However, for Data communication is more like reading, all theories. The most worried and worst subject would be Applied Statistics. It has 6 chapters and each chapter there are sub-chapters and there is a formula to remember for every each sub-chapters. I was fine with the first two and three chapters. <<something cut off>>

I would like to go for A.Training. But because it uses a lot of feet movement, I am reconsider about it. The bone at the end of my last toe on my right feet didn’t seem to be in proper healed after I injured it when I did sliding on the mats. Mats don’t seem to be smooth enough. I see many others got stuck or bended the last toe as well when sliding or whatever is it. That was like 2 months ago. He said it as "what a bad luck!" when I told him about my foot injuries history. Bad luck? Is it so bad? Or what is luck?

Yea, and still feeling like a newborn. My gum is expanding, new tooth is revealing. Why would I be thinking that for the last 2 weeks, I had gotten so much impact? Just felt like it but then life goes on. Touch it, feel it, see it but don’t live in it because it is past. Anyway, Have a nice day!

19 Sept 2006

I was reading some Java tutorials on net and soon I got bored with it. Looking at the time, I thought I wanted to go to bed soon but I didn’t feel like it although I was tired. I have something growing at the back end row of my teeth, feeling uncomfortable but not enough to irritate me. I don’t know, I still wanted to be there for him. Imagine for real, that I would be sitting next to him, sleeping while he carried on with his work. Yea, that sounds like "be there for you" haha! I cannot remember that I did went to lie down on my bed after had my head lying in front of the monitor. And I didn’t know how can I woke up abruptly, just the right time to check on him even though I was slightly dreaming. Did I woke up twice? I think I did and Schiller finished downloaded. Some nice feeling to listen to their first few tracks with the half-awake and half-asleep manner. If Im not mistaken, everything settled around 8 in the morning. When I checked back the message archive, for the first abrupt wake-up, I immediately typed that I love him to you…haha! I guess I started to say something out of scope as well like.."how magical is it when the guitar solo comes in''. That’s because Marillion was running in the playlist.

And lastly, I got to sleep properly. Got some dream that my family, relatives and friends went for some trip and we got stuck, trapped in that place that we were trying to get out from that place. To get to the town was a faraway place. Cant be reached by foot. Anyway, few of us tried our way to the town. I had to use some kind of tool, a high bicycle which is overly higher than the telephone cables. I was stuck. The cables were all along in the middle of the road rather than on the side. How can I moved along with the bicycle when I was overly higher than the cables? So, aborted the plan! And constructed a new plan. Some representatives going to arrive at our place and I was selected again to be the messenger. As they were going to take me to the town and meet the superior. I wrote a letter for the superior to release us and send us back home. We waited for hours and hours, the representatives didn’t show up. We felt like we had been tricked again. We saw a MMU lecturer and his family, wondering how could they still get into this place when there is no way out….I woke up then!

19 sept 2006

I like my hair! I like my hair! No matter how weird it may look, I sure would like it after the next day when I have enough looking myself at the mirror…hehe! I like to have fringe. That’s because I look more cuter :P. Well as the matter of fact, it shortens my length of my face with fringe. I have a long oval face.

I forgot to tell this story. It was around 3am last night when I saw my primary school friend's msn status that his house has flooded and car has flooded as well and immediately he messaged to me, saying that it was raining heavily in Klang that his car has flooded and house has flooded too. Instantly I thought of my house in Klang. When I was 12, that was my first experience that I encountered my house got flooded. I remembered it was Friday. I woke up, climbing down the stairs for toilet at the kitchen. My mum was already in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. The hall light was not on as I came down the stairs, I thought my eyes had tricked me or something and I wondered what happened to the floor at the hall. Someone had painted it brown? It was actually a bit scary to see the dark stagnant water with dim light. After knowing that it was water in the house, I went to inform my mum right away. The house structure is actually slanting towards in which means lower at the end. Water gets stagnant at the lower end or inner part easily, can even keep some small fishes swimming there..haha. So, yesterday was the second encountered for that and what everyone was worried about…the PIANO. That piano is quite antique. My dad purchased that piano about 2 decades ago and have no intention of selling it off. Because it should let it be there for us.

It is the 4th anniversary for me and my friends that we have been in MMU. Yea, 4 bloody years! Look, look at us! How much we have grown up thru these years. How many pissing off situation that we got. How many sucks groupmate we got for projects. Funny moments, stupid moments, good moments, bad moments. Burning midnight oil moments, rushing for datelines, helping each other, tease each other, joke around and etc. I cant think of any good moment at this hour but this image that we had BBQ for our diploma convocation came to the surface. A great night although many people quitted at the end. So, thank you for being my friend! Happy 4th Anniversary!

Lets check out what I did on 19 Sept 2005. huh! Unfortunately I didn’t write anything for that date. And not even for 2004…haha.

18 Sept 2006

After for some time, I meditated today. Yesterday I felt a bit sad and today I am quite Ok. The only thing is that the monitor. Im having trouble reading texts, what am I typing and cant see any images clearly. And that’s pretty turned off as I don’t interested in doing many things because I might not know that I have squinted my eyes quite much. That is gonna be bad for my eyesight and I guess that must have caused me some dizziness.

Since I came back from the trip and since I got my feet injuries, I could imagine how pain is it  if I would get extra injuries on the same spot if someone accidentally step on my feet or ram over by tires or accidentally hit somewhere. That feeling, I got shiver of it. And since I had hopped from one different transport to another, when I sit quietly. I could feel the movement. Most probably generated from my head, my brain must still have that jet-lag but not the time differences, the motion of it...haha

Some smell that I got in the library yesterday caused me some nostalgia. I was almost going to ask my friend what shower gel is she using. Some smell which I couldn’t match it with the appropriate situation. All I got was some slight feedback like in KL or CH. There is something about 7-evelen smells as well. Weird huh? But it is true…hehe

A month from now or 4 weeks, Im going to meet him again…yiihaaa

#49 Listen to those who are wise

Depth perception tells us how close so far away certain objects are. Those with impaired vision in one eye lack accurate depth perception and have a decreased ability to make contact with or avoid objects. The principle that two eyes are better than one extends far beyond physical eyesight. Wise mentors give us depth perception in regard to situations and circumstances. They help us make contact with success and stay out of harm's way. And when you consider that the amount of happiness in our lives is to a certain extent dependent upon the choices we make, it seems right to seek the advice of wise and caring people - the wise never stop seeking wisom

#50 Try a new recipe

The amazing and mysterious aspects of food have been known and appreciated since the beginning of recorded history. In fact, the whole Garden of Eden episode boils down to Eve's desire to sample a new fruit and server it to the husband. If you've experienced the delight and exhilaration of trying a new dish, then you probably understand what happened there in the Garden that fateful day. Fortunately, all experiments in dining do not carry such daunting consequences. So when you need a "happiness kick", consider opening a recipe book and trying something daring and delicious. Today's cookbooks are simple enough for even the uninitiated to follow with ease. Bon appetite! - nothing says loving like something from the oven.

*extracted from "If I really wanted to be happy I would…"

17 Sept 2006

I have been looping Portishead since I went to bed last night. I don’t know, it sounds bitter to me. But I still can say that there are a few good ones..like Roads. They can be good for composing references. Maybe it is the singer's voice or the instruments/sounds usage that it makes a bit hard at ears, loud and edgy. Sounds a bit like Morcheeba, Massive Attack and Hooverphonic. Yea, right. My friend thought that I was listening to some underground music when she saw Hooverphonic running in my playlist.

My monitor is killing me, my friend is irritating me and I have some dizziness because my eyes are heavy. Going to library on Sunday is outrageous for me. Portishead does not give me bad nostalgia anymore but sounds bitter to me…haha. And because I am fed up with a friend, now it is a fed-up song…haha. Well no! Not that bad.

I don’t know, maybe I am a bit fed up with people who only think about themselves too much, only thinking of getting the price for their own benefits.

Let's try to loop for another few hours until 4am, make it 24 H then...

I must have over 100 or 200 blog entries. Imagine, if I would lose all of them at one go. Devastating? Might be. I eventually have another copy in my pc. Well, I like to use this Ms Office OneNote because it doesn’t need to save. It is like non-volatile. Type, close it, reopen and it is still there. So, I would write it down there before I copy and paste it to add a new post. Yes, I do take some quite long time at times to write it down, erasing, retype and so on. So OneNote would be good for me.

Reading back my old post is fun. Reminds me the old days how did I get started in here, how much I have grown up and something that I have forgotten. Started out like everyone else, some insight of daily life stories and later upgraded to much more content, maturity and aim. I could actually see how I was back then. I like that I have been shaping up my mind all the time. And so Im moving into Love.Freedom.Happiness.Spirituality early this year. For the purpose of my spirituality, growth, helping others, sharing, love, women and men. I guess, most of my reader or a fan of my blog are females. That’s because I am one of them…haha. I have trained myself to write something everyday, anything…even if there is not much things to think of or happen. And I guess I must have been a bit bad at some critic and disposed some information which I shouldn’t.

I have had some unusual feeling for this whole week. It's new for me, never feel like that in my life ever. It's nothing to be panic because I feel good about myself. Only that I am still mentally and physically exhausted and good thing that I am catching up again. And thus I feel as if I have reborn or going back to a newborn stage where sleeping is great and skin changing. Taking it slow and easy, steadily and smoothly, no pushy, no hurry and no pressure.

Overestimated! Things that I thought that I could get it done quickly turned out to be that it is more than that. So you can guess that I have stuck with my java work…hehe.

Thank you for staying along with this blog! I hope you have a great time reading the entries.

16 Sept 2006

After lunch, my stomach felt one kind. It was like air getting in and bloated it. That must be weird because I just ate. The feeling was really uncomfortable. It made me want to find a bed to lay down and causing some nausea too. It lasted for 30 minutes or so.

I did wondered why I feel so free for this time. But Now, I am bombarded with lots of submission. All in a week. For sudden I feel as if I am drown to it, lost the touches of this magical world and I am still longing for a long nice sleep which I havent had for a week. So, when you have nothing to do, enjoy the time. When you have something to do, enjoy doing it.

Alright, I got weird comments, something unusual which I seemed to like it. For example, that I looked crap shit in the pic and happened to sound sarcastic which I think I wasn’t and no intention at all. Anyway, I like the minority voice as it sounds fresh to me. No offended, don’t worry! But it just made me to think that I might have doing something to people without doing it which means The Art of Making People Jealous or Hurt without any intentional causes.

And how do you actually answer it when you get question like …"why are you so careless?" with an additional statement... "like a small kid only". All I can say that as we  get more older, we become more wiser. No matter how old your age will be, you will still fall to the ground and up again and handle the pain more better too. This is actually related to my feet. It might have effect some nerves system in me that people started to see me differently or I sound differently.

And how do you actually feel? From out of nowhere someone came asking you…"how is your babi?" translation - "how is your pig?" Confusion or disgrace? Cant you talk in more appropriate mannerly way? The real thing was that she actually meant to ask …"how is your boyfriend?"

Stories about arrogance

The arrogance of power

    & nbsp;The master and his disciple were talking at a street corner when an old woman came up to them:

    & nbsp;"Get away from my window!" shouted the old lady. "You are disturbing the customers". The master apologized and crossed over to the other sidewalk.

    & nbsp; They went on talking until an officer came up to them and said: "We need you to move away from this sidewalk. The count will be passing by here in a few moments".

    & nbsp;"Let him use the other side of the street", answered the master, without moving. Then he turned to his disciple and told him: "Don’t forget: never be arrogant to the humble. And never be humble to the arrogant."

The arrogance of sanctity

    & nbsp;The Zen monk spent ten years meditating in his cave, trying to find out the path to the Truth. While he was praying one afternoon, a monkey came up to him. The monk tried to concentrate, but the monkey drew closer and seized the monk’s sandal.

    & nbsp;“Damned monkey!” said the hermit. “Why have you come to disturb my prayers?”

    & nbsp;“I’m hungry,” said the monkey.

    & nbsp;“Go away! You are disturbing my communicating with God!”

    & nbsp;“How can you talk to God if you cannot manage to communicate with humble creatures like me?” said the monkey.

    & nbsp; And the monk apologized, feeling ashamed.

The arrogance of force

    & nbsp;The village was threatened by a tribe of barbarians. The inhabitants were abandoning their houses and fleeing to a safer place. At the end of a year they had all left – except a group of Jesuits.

    & nbsp; The army of barbarians entered the city without any resistance and held a great feast to commemorate the victory. In the middle of the dinner a priest appeared.

    & nbsp;“You came in here and drove out peace. I beg you to leave at once.”

    & nbsp;"Why haven’t you fled yet?" shouted the chief of the barbarians. "Don’t you see that I can run you through with my sword without blinking an eye?"

    & nbsp;The priest answered calmly:

    & nbsp;"Don’t you see that I can be run through by a sword without blinking an eye?"

    & nbsp;Surprised by such serenity before death, the chief of the barbarians and his tribe abandoned the place the next day.

The arrogance of envy

    & nbsp;In the Syrian desert, Satan told his disciples: "Human beings are always more concerned about wishing evil on others than doing good to themselves".

    & nbsp; And to demonstrate what he was saying, he decided to test two men who were resting nearby.

    & nbsp;"I have come to make your wishes come true", he said to one of them. "Whatever you want will be given to you. Your friend will receive the same thing – except double".

    & nbsp; The man remained in silence for a long while, and then he finally said: "My friend is content because he will have double, no matter what my wish is. But I have prepared a trap for him: my wish is that you make me blind in one eye".

*extracted from my mailbox, Warrior of Light - Paulo Coelho

15 Sept 2006

For 2 consecutive days, my dream has been weird. People that I have seen a little appeared in my dream to represent the person that I like.

I am catching up today. It was a nice day. Cloudy and chilling. I have broke the spell. Well, months back. Started to feel much more comfortable sitting in the library for long hours. I was pretty much distracted sitting in the library and since then I didn’t like to spend long time in the library except for sleeping.

Sometimes I was thinking that why should I put myself available on ym. I just came back not for long, had a long day squeezing my brain on that statistics assignment. Back at home, time to rest, time to eat and she was here knocking on my monitor asking about this and that on the assignment. Oh yea, I was a bit annoyed with that. Not going to ransack my notes for that. My food was already in front of me. Time to focus my brain on the food, no more numbers.

Anyway, at last I went for a haircut by myself for the very first time. When I stepped into the hair saloon, the lady had an impressed look on me. She was actually attracted to my slim figure…hehe :P just nice and very nice to see. Well, she is nice too, friendly. After that, went to buy fried rice from that keowteow lady :D

My yoga teacher asked me about my toes. I was a bit struggling with myself yesterday…haha. I told him that I fell at the beach. He was surprised and joked that would be a different story if I would fall when sun-bathing.

Ok, need to study for my java lab test tomorrow. It is 8.30pm and havent study anything yet.

14th sept 2006

So is it, that I consumed so much of my energy when I feel sad, down, miserable, worry. I sleep little, stay up longer, no mood in doing whatsoever. And when the issue is settled, I would be less worry, less this and that, Apparently feel good and my body feels light, less tense and everything seems to be going slow and easy. That’s where the tiredness catch up. Not because Im not interested on something or bored but I have used so much of my energy for all that sad and miserable. Mentally and physically exhausted, I would say. That’s how I feel since last week. Sleeping is so good after that when things have settled.

So, it happened yesterday. I exaggerated my energy on getting mad with him, I didn’t feel good as well plus moodswings…you know, period is so near. I can feel the fire burning inside me as I had the vision that I would throw my tantrums. It was good that I got to know about it but it was hard for me as it went on and off throughout the whole day. All those mixed feelings caused me wanted to burst into tears.

Last week, I didn’t have the mood for anything but this week…I wanted to go Aikido but I cant. My toes have not completely heal yet. I might afraid that all my nails would be flying off somewhere…haha. Anyhow I went for yoga although the walking was a bit long distance and it didn’t effect much my toes when doing the pose. But I lost the mood to write, type, blogging. Any yet, I cant be lazy, I have readers…haha.

I did burst my tantrum at the end of the day. Get things cleared! And I was extremely tired after that and honestly, I didn’t go for all my classes today. I met up with my friends at school with my puffy eyes, blurry look, lost look and dysfunctional senses. I met up with main ditch as well at the library. Despite with all that, we were talking like cowboys, lol. Tease, truthful and ego. The way we shook hands and sat down at the same time made it looked like we accepted some battle and cautious. I actually didn’t have any intention or whatsoever to make her jealous but it happened accidentally. Her voice was high, mad and dissatisfied mode. And I guess, she accidentally blurted out her true reason for that when she had that high pitch sound.

Anyway, I am still feeling tired. Spot on! Moodswings yesterday, period arrived today. 

9 Sept 2006

8 Sept 2006

7 Sept 2006

My mum was trying to stop me from joining the trip with my friends. The date was getting nearer as I didn’t receive any updates about it. 3 days before the departure date, I had found out that many of them have quitted from the trip. I was a bit hesitating though but I accepted it with some reason.

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:18:49 PM): hmm takpela.. carry on with ur work.. kacau pulak..sorry

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:18:52 PM): :-h

some1sayhi (06-09-2006 11:19:21 PM): tak kacau,,,,ease some tension :))

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:19:27 PM): oo yeke?

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:19:31 PM): u tension ke? :))

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:19:34 PM): kenape?

some1sayhi (06-09-2006 11:23:24 PM): tension relationship :=))

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:23:35 PM):  :)) ngan ilek yeh

some1sayhi (06-09-2006 11:23:40 PM): yea

some1sayhi (06-09-2006 11:23:42 PM): :P

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:24:59 PM): heheheh.. takpe .. long distance relationship memang banyak dugaan..

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:25:08 PM): be patient bout it :P

some1sayhi (06-09-2006 11:25:24 PM): yea, tapi dah ok dah :D

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:25:53 PM): hohoho..

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:25:57 PM): elokla tu

hasnie (06-09-2006 11:26:00 PM): :D

We left from Melaka to KL at 8pm and 12 midnight to Lumut from KL. One looked like going for backpacking, another one looked like going back home for a long holiday, another one looked like going to Australia for studies and another one looked like going for a business seminar. My mind started to stalk the time when we were at Cameron Highlands that I was trying to figure out why I didn’t enjoy the whole trip and at Penang scenes too. I slept for 2 hours before we were alert from sleeping by the emergency break. Bidor was flooded a bit. We glanced at each other, wondering if it is going to heavy rain again and we just cant do much stuffs for the trip. Nevertheless, we arrived at Lumut at 4am. There was a mamak shop opened 24 hours just opposite the bus station as we sat there and waited till 7am for the first ferry. 4am was the best time to sleep…haha. 6am my friends wanted to go for prayers at a nearby mosque. Ok, 3 of them were malays(muslims). Since I followed them inside the mosque before, I wasn’t really nervous about it. I saw there inside the girl's praying room. My friends went for a clean-up. I was actually afraid that I would bounce with some other local ladies coming to pray. Oh yes, this old lady came in and looked at me as if she has never seen a different race in her entire life. Sounded sarcastically she asked me

Her: Are you a muslim?

Me: No

Her: go and take the clothes and wear it. You cant wear like this in this place. This is a praying place. Go! Go and take and wear.

Me: Ok

I was panic. She looked angry. I was hoping my friends could come back fast. I cant comment much about this. I had a short pant that time and my friends had forgotten about my concern. But if I could say something, I wanted to say something to that lady that this is praying place, you cant be mad..you need to have a good heart, to be friendly, to accept others….hehe. No way, I was going to say that, I would be in Perak's headlines the next day.

After that, my friends were worried if I took it seriously. Well, No I didn’t because I can see that even though how much people are praying or worshipping, they still have suck attitudes in them. Seriously, I was nervous that time and then I was fine after that. Never in my life, what do you call that? Religion discrimination? I was stuck in between the dogmatic of religion.

He wasn’t completely heal. I wasn’t completely heal either and some thing was still bothering. After yesterday, he was completely heal and on the other hand I am on healing process as it takes time to forget and return again. I need to chill out a bit, take things slowly, rewind, take some time off and so on.

Apparently that symptom has occurred back. I dislike going to school, Im lazy going to school. I cant read books, do any schoolworks or do the things that I like to do. Yea, I even don’t have mood going for aikido. Im discourage. All I like to do at the moment is type, type and type. Yea, I have learn a lot of typing in the java lab session. I am sad, happy-sad feeling….that I have discovered some faults in me and trying to change them. Not easy though. It is like an on and off going process.

How do you know that you are doing something routinely or it has been a trademark for you? When your friends start to question about it after you break the routinely event.

#47 Put aside prejudice and stereotypes

Prejudice and stereotypes are both blinding and binding. They keep us from experiences that can help us grow and develop character. Prejudice is not limited to race-it can be directed toward gender, age, ethnic origin, economic status and religion to name just a few. One woman even admitted she was "prejudiced against those who are prejudiced."

On the flip side, putting aside prejudice can open wide the doors of friendship, well-being and cultural appreciation. It can expand the boundaries of our minds and enhance our knowledge of the world around us. Breaking the bonds of prejudice is like bursting forth from a cocoon to fly free and happy in the sunshine - prejudice cannot coexist with love. One will always prevail to the exclusion of the other.

#48 Sing in the shower

Luciano Pavarotti, Leontyne Price, Barbra Streisand and others have become famous primarily because of their superb singing voices. They make it easy for us to close our eyes and be magically swept up in the emoticons of happiness, love and contentment.

Few are blessed with such talent, but we can all belt out a tune in the shower. For a few happy moments, we can become one of the world's great singers, flooding the air with our own interpretations of personal favorites. Singing strengthens the lungs, exercises the diaphragm and brings light to the soul. Try it and see for yourself - making a joyful noise can make a joyful heart.

How do you need to recharge again and dispose the self-pity? By thinking the best things you have achieved, the glorious moment and your own thought of blogs. From there, you can see how much you have in progressed. I was actually surprised that I was pretty quite calm and clear despite there was a misunderstandings and it still effects me a bit in the morning. I was feeling pissed but it wasn’t into such extent that I was going to breakdown. My awareness was good at some point. But I tend to lose it when there is any emotions involved. It is difficult not to get influence your mood by others.

3rd world countries and even our country trying to be on top of the world. Everyone wants to be the best of the best, trying hard to merge themselves next to more well-developed country. Isnt it sound like they are trying to be just like them? For example, countries wanted to be the best, to be on the same level as the States. Why is it so? Have you thought of how it has effect the people, citizens? We have to work like hell, more illness increases, moving fast, trying to match things, we start to chase things too, poverty increases, fatal increases, people changing and etc

3 sept 2006

My parents arrived at my door at 1600 hours. I wasn’t sure if I feel happy about it or not. My mum had a scowl face, she was mad with her husband just because he had forgot to take along some packages and started to complaint that her husband is useless…haha. It was a hot day and it made her to be in hurry in anything.

No, I didn’t go to Jonker because no one likes it because it is crowded and etc. I didn’t sleep well at night. I was feeling cold most of the time, tossing and turning. The blanket wasn’t enough for me and the fan was uncontrollable.